New chemo regime, night terrors, fear for the future!

Hi, 

I will be having my final EC next week and then will start 3 weekly carboplatin and weekly paclitaxel. The further in to my treatment I get the more scared I become. My side effects havent been too bad (nausea, fatigue, hair loss, headache for 5ish days, bone pain for 4 days) but a nurse told me that I will basically suffer with the next lot of chemo. It will be 12 weeks, which I know isn't a long time in the scheme of things.Blush I just don't know what to expect. Will I have time to recover between treatments?! Or am I just going to feel awful for 3 months?! 

Then yesterday, I found out that a friends mum has been diagnosed with mets (she originally had breast cancer) and they are stopping treatment. I am devastated for her but selfishly terrified for me and my family, all the what ifs!

And finally, last night I woke up screaming and shaking, tears streaming down my face (terrified my husband) and then I couldn't get back to sleep. Night terror?! 

I just feel like I'm going mad and I don't want to tell family or friends as I don't want to upset them!

Xxx

  • Hi Roses21 sorry to hear you are feeling frightened and it seems overwhelmed.......I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer last October and started my treatment with 12 weeks of carboplatin and paclitaxol and am now having 4 cycles of EC - cycle 2 is a week tomorrow. I understand how you are feeling with the uncertainty I too felt very scared at the beginning but over time I have learnt to live each day as it comes and deal with any challenges when they happen. We can’t control the future so I’m not worrying about it anymore.....it’s too draining.  I found carbo and taxol easy to tolerate and understand that carbo and taxol is gentler on you but everyone is different.  I was very worried about EC reading about how many patients suffer with various side effects but as it goes I only had a bit of nausea 2 hrs after treatment and a little fatigue and have felt well these last two weeks.  I understand that it’s easy to fear the worst especially when you hear of someone you know has been diagnosed with mets......all I can say is keep positive and strong the diagnoses was your friends mum and not yours...if you are worried about your prognosis please speak with your oncologist or nurses. Take care x

  • Hi Montes, 

    Thank you for your reply. I too have triple negative breast cancer, was diagnosed 23rd Dec. It seems that my chemo is the opposite to yours (3 EC cycles first, 3rd one next week and then 12 weeks of carboplatin and paclitaxol).

    I am trying so hard to live in the moment, I sometimes even forget that I have no hair, until I see myself in the mirror! I am just overwhelmed.

    It is reassuring what you've said about the next set of chemo for me. The nurse scared me when she told me I'd probably suffer for the whole 12 weeks (if I do, I do. It's only 12 weeks and hopefully it will make me better). I am fully aware that I am catastophising everything, including future surgery! I should know better, I'm a nurse! Haha.

    I hope your side effects continue to be few. 

    Take care xx