Newly diagnosed with questions!

Hi, found a lump at the beginning of lockdown that I chose to ignore until a month ago Face palm tone1Shrug tone1‍♀️

biopsy revealed stage 1 BC. another shadow was seen and had MRI, now waiting fir those results to confirm treatment plan.

How does everyone deal with the waiting? i know and whole heartily appreciate that im one of the 'lucky ones' but my emotions are all over the place!

I feel like a terrible person- my friends are being amazing and baking, buying me gifts and organising 'girls nights' to give me something to look forward to, but i just want to go back to 'normal!' that sounds dreadful and massively ungrateful - i just feel like 'that person with cancer' 

is it 'normal' to hate your breasts after diagnosis? i cant bear to look or touch them. 

lastly (honestly!) my wonderful breast nurse has told me to live as 'normal' until 2 weeks before my op. But, i am now covid obsessed as i just want this cancer OUT! I usually love the gym but am i putting myself at risk of infection by going or am i being neurotic ? We are thankfully in a very low risk area.

 thank you so much for your time  

  • Hello Ems7,

    Try and stay as true to you as possible. You still have the MRI to come back and if your hospital is like mine, you will have a Covid test before your surgery. Once I had my test, then I had to isolate for 7 days and use the wash stuff they gave me. If you know how to look after yourself and your gym is taking precautions, I would go. You have to feel comfortable with it all for yourself. We can only say what we would do.

    Yes I wanted the cancer out. It felt like an alien. I had to wait until after chemo for my surgery. You are going through all the normal emotions and thoughts. We got through it and so will you. Many ladies will tell you the same. Wobble away, but you will always stand up, because we all take to fighting. We are all here for you, so come and shout when you need to!

    Lots of love and hugs xxx

    Floss b
  • Hi Ems7

    The waiting is. truly tortuous. Everyone says that it is the worst time and that things become easier once treatment starts. I really wasn’t sure that would happen but I have to say that as the days passed I was able to think about other things - only for a minute or so at first but gradually I could concentrate on other things that are still going on in my life! 
    I did carry on with my usual dance and exercise classes until a week before surgery when I had to isolate and it made such a difference. Go to the gym - keeping fit and healthy will help your recovery and will also feel like some sort of normality. 
    And don’t feel guilty about feeling bad even though you are ‘one of the lucky ones’. You have had a cancer diagnosis and that is devastating for all of us. 
    Be kind to yourself & try to do things that you enjoy. Good luck 

  • I have just been diagnosed with stage 1 invasive ductal breast cancer, one minute it seems they caught it early and hey it’s going to be fine, to oh it might come back and we won’t know what treatment you need until it’s taken out, so one minute you are feeling relieved and the next you are wondering what it all means and yes the waiting is horrendous, after surgery this week there is another two week wait to find out where you are at with it so it’s a rollercoaster of emotions at the moment 

  • Hi Trishiezaza

    Sorry you also find yourself here. Yes the ups and downs of emotions are like nothing we have ever experienced before. I am in now in the next two week wait after surgery and I don’t know whether to prepare for the worst or be optimistic. I already know one node is involved, so am expecting chemo but they still wouldn’t say it was definite. I told myself before surgery that once that was over the cancer would be gone and whatever else is needed it is ‘belt and braces’ and insurance for the future. It still all feels very surreal but I am trying very hard to look forward and to plan things - they may prove difficult but I do believe that if we can try to be as ‘normal’ as possible it has to be of benefit. Good luck to you 

  • Hiya,

    In my opinion, I think you would be best to stay as safe as possible, if you have to have an operation, you would not want it delayed. I had to make a huge sacrifice before my operation as I could not see my mum for a week before she died, as she was in a hospice.  I just had to put me and my family first, she would have fully understood.

    Once the waiting is over and you have details of your treatment, you will feel much better.

    The way I dealt with it was thinking that I was so glad the hospital had found the cancer and it was treatable.

    I had to have a right side mastectomy and can honestly say that it is not as bad as you would imagine. I wear a prosthesis and got over the operation quite quick with the minimal of pain. It felt like sunburn when I laid on my side where I had the lymph nodes removed (all clear).

    Had my operation 7the April 2020 and scar has healed up nicely.

    Hope all goes well and try to keep positive. 

    Keep smiling.

    BoobyJ

  • Bless you, thanks for the supporting messages, there is some comfort knowing that others are going through the same, it’s uncertainty that I cannot cope with, so glad you healed well and you are keeping positive 

  • Do what you feel is right. I continued my exercises by seeking out suitable on line classes. Macmillan do a good one. Its important to stay as fit as you can be. 

    In the early days I think that I was in denial. But once a plan is in place its so much better. Take one day at a time. Ask if you don't understand something. 

    I learned to love my breast. I treat it like a baby. It needs a lot of care and attention. 

    Take care of yourself and stay safe. @Ems7

    and

    • The past is a memory, the future a dream, the moment is now. 
  • Hi ,

    You will be going through a time of adjustment to some extent , although in some ways you will be wishing for it all to be over. I was diagnosed just as Covid lockdown was about to start ,and so the decision was made for me as I am over70 and am asthmatic.I attended hospital for pre op  review, bloods etc. I returned to have a guide wire inserted and the radioactive injection. No testing for covid was done except chest listened to and asked pre op if I had a cough . How it has all changed.!

    Follow your gut feeling , but perhaps the fact that you are asking may be an indication of your worry. Which would disappoint you most not visiting the gym or having your operation delayed.? Only you can decide. Wishing you well whichever way you opt for . Sending hugs xx

  • Interesting comparing notes so to speak. I think that we're on almost a similar time scale @Kwissy but in my case I had 2 weeks isolation before and after surgery plus a covid-19 test 72 hrs before the op. 

    • The past is a memory, the future a dream, the moment is now. 
  • Hi @Glade, Although I wasn't told to isolate as you were that is what I did anyway . Only made visits in relation to diagnosis and ongoing treatment. The only shop I visited was local chemist and village post office - both had one in /one out policy. Now come Friday we are in a Fire break  as we live in Wales- so back to staying home until 9th November . Fingers crossed people comply and it works. Sending hugs.