Breast cancer

Affected by breast cancer? Join this group to share experiences and ask questions to people who understand what you're going through.

Breast Cancer

Summersunset
Posted by

Good morning my lovelies. Is there something wrong with me ? (aside from having cancer) as I have gone on this crazy journey with so much positivity and confidence, without a moment of worry or dispare and I don't understand why. Everyone in my life thinks I'm putting on a brave face but I'm genuinely not.

I have read so many sad stories here of all the anxiety, pain and stress this causes and I feel like a fraud. I was diagnosed on 5th of June with approx 7cm tumor on left breast ER+  with no spread as far as they know so I am very lucky, having mastectomy tomorrow then which ever treatment the team decide after that,but  still no fear. Am I surpressing my feeling or being nieve ? I know that my concerns and doughts will start after the op ( pain fatigue, results ect )  and I am prepared for that but until then I'll keep smiling ( and dancing at times ) 

So wish you could all feel the way I do.

XXX

Weeblemum
Posted by

You're not alone! I went through my first ride on the roller coaster very much like you - I had mastectomy, chemo and radiotherapy in 2013-14 and I was always positive and not worried about what might or might not happen. I did have some 'off' days with the chemo, but they were only the same as you'd have if you had some sort of bug etc. 

I was rediagnosed in June 2017 with stage 4 cancer in lungs and bones and had a terminal diagnosis of less than a year last July. I'm still here, on permanent chemo, and I'm still doing as much as I can. ! I can honestly say that I am still positive and carefree 99% of the time and although I now have some frustration about what I can no longer do, I don't let it become a negative - it's just life and a different one than I was expecting! 

Worrying is not going to change anything, I don't get stressed about tests, restaging results and what the future might hold - that would just take precious time and energy! 

I feel very lucky that I'm able to view life like this as I realise that not everyone is the same, and I'm certainly not saying my way is right - some people might say I'm burying my head in the sand. I'm not - I'm aware of what is likely to happen in the not so distant future, but I'm going to make the most of the time I have left (I have ballet tickets booked until summer 2020!) without worrying about it! 

What I think I'm trying to say (in a very wordy way, that's what comes of being a speech/language therapist!) is that no way of reacting is right or wrong - everyone is different, and there's nothing wrong with you...  

Wishing you all the best with the mastectomy tomorrow! 

Best wishes

Cathy

x

howaboutthat
Posted by

Hi Summersunset

I am glad I am not the only person on this journey that feels just like you. I have questioned my feelings many times but still come to the same argument  that it is what is and no amount of worry will change it. I must say I am normally someone who worries about the smallest of things but since being diagnosed I don't seem to worry half as much.

I too feel fraud like as my treatment was a mastectomy and the cancer has gone. No chemo/radiotherapy.  On tablets for next 10 years and just excepting what the doctors have said. Yes cancer does sometimes come back but then a lot of times it does not. This is what I prefer to think will be the case. 

I believe life is a path and what will be will be. 

I wish you all the best for tomorrow and your recovery. Just listen to your body and don;t feel guilty about having down time.I

El

It is what it is. Enjoy the good times and be happy. 

Summersunset
Posted by

Hi Cathy,

I'm so sorry to hear about your terminal diagnosis. I don't think I would be feeling as I do now if that was what I was facing.

You appear to be a strong and amazing woman to be able to deal with this, with the outlook you have. 

Your so right, there is no point in worrying until is absolutely necessary.

Thank you wishing me luck with the mastectomy.

Good luck with everything (stay happy ) 

Maria x

Summersunset
Posted by

Hi Cathy,

I'm so sorry to hear about your terminal diagnosis. I don't think I would be feeling as I do now if that was what I was facing.

You appear to be a strong and amazing woman to be able to deal with this, with the outlook you have. 

Your so right, there is no point in worrying until is absolutely necessary.

Thank you wishing me luck with the mastectomy.

Good luck with everything (stay happy ) 

Maria x

Summersunset
Posted by

Hello El,

We are both very lucky to feel this way , I will also be on tablets for a few years and possibly radiotherapy due to its size, depending on the persentages.

I will of course have discomfort from the op and side effects from the drugs, hoping this will be minimal ( but this thing does have a way of turning everything on its head ) I will try my up most to keep my positive mental attitude for as long as possible. 

Stay focused and take care.

Maria xx