Breast cancer

Affected by breast cancer? Join this group to share experiences and ask questions to people who understand what you're going through.

Sonogram and biopsies and the future... Im scared.

Leannej
Posted by

Well just two weeks ago i was given the news i has breast cancer, as a 43yr old who doesnt drink or smoke, the dr said it was 'piss poor luck Leanne you have it'. There's honestly for ya! Well after the mri results came in I had my second meeting with my frank and honest dr where he told me there was an issue... Yeap on the left now there was something... Can you believe it... It seems i have it not only in the right but in the left... This friday I have yet as another sonogram and more than likely a biopsy..  Im tired... Tired of worrying, of making decisions... On the right i made the decision of mastectomy, the Dr was fine with the decision, my cancer is T2 ductul. On the left i will do the same.  I dont know if i want reconstruction.. The Dr was surprised at this. Im scared.. Terrified to be honest of it all...

At home its all false, im single, im very close to my sisters, we live near to each other, i can see worry in their faces and they aren't sleeping either. My mom is the same. Conversation is hard, we pretend, but there is an elephant in the room. Friday i meet with a nurse as the sonogram. I have to tell her how i feel.... Its goin to be non stop crying or non stop swearing... Or both.... Ive got questions to ask her, whats the operation like, pain, recovery, reconstruction or not.... Before all of this i was choosing sandles for summer..which i wont buy now.. How things change... 

Lacomtekp
Posted by

Hello Leannej,

I have jumped in to answer so you know you're not alone. But unfortunately I am not going to be the right person to answer all your questions about mastectomy because for my cancer, which was found on a mammogram and was a small but aggressive tumour, I only had a lumpectomy. If later you need other treatments like chemo or radiotherapy, I have had those so would maybe be of use then.

However, what I can do is give you a bit of reassurance. It is nearly four years since my op. Since the day the tumour was removed, I haven't had cancer. The treatments in my case were to prevent reoccurring. At the moment they are working. There is no reason why you won't be in the same situation a year or two on. 

At the moment everyone around you is as shocked as you are. Once all the scans and biopsies are finished and you have a definite plan, you will start to feel more in control. You'll get a lot of help from nurses etc but you'll also find you'll get amazing support on this site. There have been several newly diagnosed people in the last few days. You'll be able to chat together about your treatments and even PM some who will become your friends. I have a friend who I have never met in person but with whom I still chat almost every week. I met her here. 

I would buy those sandals. Even with the worst reactions to treatments, there are good days and you will be encouraged to go out and new sandals sound perfect to me......

Hopefully those with mastectomy experience will be in touch soon. I hope everything goes well for you. Take care. Love Karen

Grogg
Posted by

Buy the sandals you are not checking out anytime soon.  You have difficult times ahead but you will get through.  Its ok not to be ok with your diagnosis and it’s not your job to make others feel better about your diagnosis.  Everyone will eventually get used to the news and go back to treating you like normal.  If they don’t tell them no tilting head to one side when talking to you.  You are still you so heads up please. 

This site is a fantastic place to get support, rant, cry and share your darkest moments/fears.  We all have them xxx

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Carol
4 year NEDDY!
Leannej
Posted by

Thanks for the support. Im dreading with dispair whats coming. I tell myself you can do it. You got to do it. You have plans, and you got to do this to achieve those plans. Im just 2weeks my life has changed.. Im scared of pain. Of the operation. I've never been in hospital for myself. Im scaredaand worried for my mom. Will i be in pain after the operation? Will i cope with the pain? Reconstruction.. I dont know.. Should i shouldnt i. What will the Dr take away? Ive got to ask lots of questions... I told mt family to be normal around me but it feels different. Its like they are trying to make up for lost time or something.  This is difficult for me aswell as i lost my best friend to cancer in 2016. Hers was lung cancer. She smoked in her 20-30s. Its difficult because im walking in the same hospital, same places almost, as i did with her. She had a cancer pack, a cancer nurse... I never in a million yrs thought it would be me also. I miss her terribly aswell. She was/irreplaceable. She would say the same as you Grogg, and more..shed tell me to fight and get better that i will be ok. I better start listening... 

daisyjake
Posted by

Lots of parallels to your life Leanne, I hav sent you a friend request x 

Londonmumof2
Posted by

I had a single mastectomy having never had surgery before,  was really scared but surprised at how it wasn't as bad as I imagined. I never took any painkillers as lots of nerves are cut and the area is numb. More recently I had an anxillary clearance and that it a very different story when I do ther exercises!

I'd suggest finding out all the details of your cancer before deciding on when to have the reconstructive surgery. What type/a of cancer do you have? Did they see anything on the nodes? Those answers would mean radiotherapy later,  which could affect an implant.  Would you prefer implants or diep flap surgery? Are you happy to have delayed reconstruction? Macmillan have a booklet about ther different types of reconstruction with pictures which you should look at, and it might be online. 

You'll have drain bottles either side which will be fun (not!) for a week or so and mean lying on your back in bed. It took me about 3 weeks to lie on my side again which if his long it takes most people.  

Take care, it's impossible not to worry so try and find something that relaxes you (Istarted reading popular novels which helped) and keep us updated:) x

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. And however difficult life may seem...It matters that you don't just give up.' Stephen Hawking,
Leannej
Posted by

So far i know its T2 ductal, its not in the nodes on the right. On the left I'll no mote friday about whats goin on there. As for reconstruction, im going  to sit with the nurse friday and she can explain to me. Omg a wk lying on my back... Its a good job ive kept myself busy doing everything in the house n garden then.... Today i fitted a blind and did all the jobscin the garden. I better get sorted for doing Jack S***. Im glad i wont be in pain then. Thanks for replying. This is helping me sort my head out and relieve the the tension ive got building up. I'll keep you posted on my visit to the hospital friday x

Londonmumof2
Posted by

Don't worry,  I meant in bed at bed time! 

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. And however difficult life may seem...It matters that you don't just give up.' Stephen Hawking,
Leannej
Posted by

I knew what ya meant!

Grogg
Posted by

I can relate to losing people to cancer as I had lost my mother over 20 years earlier to colon cancer and my sister 7 years ago to brain cancer so I was scared but breast cancer is very treatable.

Start writing down your questions and take your list with you.  I had less invasive surgery so out same day and surprised at lack of pain.  I bought a V shaped pillow for bed to keep me on my back .

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Carol
4 year NEDDY!