Breast cancer

Affected by breast cancer? Join this group to share experiences and ask questions to people who understand what you're going through.

Worried Mummy

Daisy3
Posted by

Hi All, 

I’ve been diagnosed with Grade 2 invasive ductal cancer, HER2+, due to start chemo then surgery for a mastectomy (unsure if it’s 1 or both at the moment). I’m so worried that I won’t be able to take care of my 9 month old little one...we have a hugely supportive family thankfully but I’m so unsure how it’s all going to affect me (I haven’t really known anyone with cancer to ask). Just hoping for a bit of advice really... I was due to return to work after maternity but now everything is so up in the air...

Thanks xx

mistymoley
Posted by

Hi  

sorry you have had to find us here, but we are all here to support you too.

I know it all seems like you are just one stop from the funeral home at this point, but honestly, you will be fine.  I suspect you may have been told to stop breast feeding if you were still, that's quite hard, but it is obviously necessary.

The time between diagnosis and starting treatment gets very stressful, but once you get started, you will find things much easier to deal with.  With your family help you will get through the treatment and will be up to running around with your little one before you know it.  

I was diagnosed over 6 years ago and I'm still here, so there is lots of hope.

Leolady56
Posted by

Daisy3,

This is my second time around and I must say much much older than you. 

I have found that actually giving people the chance to do things: pick up medicine/ dry cleaning, vacuuming, shopping, cooking a meal  etc helps everyone. They feel they have really helped - and they have- and you get a rest from it all. A bit like the early days of motherhood, let them help.

If you choose how they are helping you this might help. A rota of taking you or the baby out. They will love it, so will you and your little one will be smothered in love

Take care

Leolady56 aka Lndsay

Anna K
Posted by

Hello Daisy, I am so sorry you're in the midst of the pre-treatment limbo land which is when I felt most overwhelmed. It all seemed so daunting and long. I am far from a veteran and just at the beginning of my journey (one chemo cycle down, 7 to go before mastectomy, radiotherapy and Tamoxifen or similar for 10 years) and my children are now young adults, but I wanted to echo others' thoughts and also tell you about a remarkable woman I met a week ago at the hospital. She has four children under 7 and is doing the same treatment for a triple negative cancer diagnosed when she was pregnant with her now beautiful baby. She was beyond generous to me when I was in my nervous pre-chemo assessment state and she talked to me about what helped her. She said that she accepted every ounce of help offered and had to get used to the fact that it may not always mean things were done as she would do them, but it made life overall better for everyone just to let people in and help her. She also said that the kids were therapeutic (not always!) as it meant she had another focus and a reason to get dressed and keep on keeping on. Finally, she was really open about her fears, worries and emotions. Not with everyone, but with those she loved and trusted and on whom she could rely. After all, this is rubbish right? None of us wants it and we all have a host of feelings and emotions to manage on top of everything else. A safe, supportive outlet for those emotions and someone to walk alongside us when we feel/express them are transformative. 

I am trying to take it as much as I can one step at a time - breaking down the long path that lies ahead and not getting bogged down in it all because it becomes too overwhelming. I don't always succeed, but I do find that if I can take a deep breath, maybe indulge in a cry or go for a walk, I can regroup a bit and come back to now. I will be thinking of you lots and hope you return to the group whenever you want to or feel ready. We are all cheering you on. xx

Scaredgirl34
Posted by

Hello Daisy 

I'm Sam age 34

I have the same cancer and diagnosis as you,I'm having my 3rd cycle out of 6 Thursday...my chemo is TCHP that's targeted therapy also as I'm also HER2 positive,it says very tiring for me but everyone's body is different,I won't lie I do struggle some days..but rest when you can is the best thing to do xx

Daisy3
Posted by

Thankyou everyone, he keeps me very busy so daytimes are good as all of my energy is focused on him. I just hope I will be able to keep doing some of our regular activities once treatment has started... Hopefully after my first Oncology visit tomorrow everything will be a bit clearer.

Hope your treatments go well Sam and Anna (and anyone else who has treatment coming up too) X