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My day :
Well, the athletics has been VERY entertaining and exciting tonight! My whoop of delight at the men winning the relay scared the cr*p out of my cats......
Guess it's time to go try and sleep now. Hope everyone gets a passable night
I'm not really interested in sport but I enjoyed watching too.also my daughter was at the stadium so I was trying to spot her in the crowd.got home from hospital today so my drain and I are trying to get settled in my nice comfybed.hubby has been banished to the spare room.at least I won't have a night nurse trapping my drains in the side of the bed tonight.not a nice experience!good night everyone sleep tight x
Glad you are back home safely Anne, hope you sleep well. I know how difficult that is with drains!
Good Night All xxxxx
Morning all. Can't sleep since results on Friday, too much on my mind. Lymph nodes affected and margins not clear :(
Now have to have CT scan and MRI to check for spread and am starting to worry because of all the health issues I've had for the last 18 months, that it has indeed spread. Desperately want the scans as soon as possible so I know where I stand but also desperately don't want the scans in case it's bad new. So now another period of waiting commences.
Feeling a bit (well actually alot), 'woe is me tonight'. I need to snap the hell out of it ....... sorry to vent on here.
Hope you are all getting some sleep
Hi Michele, firstly may I offer you a BIG.........
I think you have every right to feel woe is me, what you are going through is crap! No one should have to go through all this waiting, BUT sadly you will find that this entire journey involves LOTS of waiting and LOTS of worrying.
So one of the best pieces of advice I can give you is TRY not to worry! Easier said than done I know, but worrying isn't going to change the outcome. its just going to wind you up even more! IF the cancer has spread it would still be treatable, just not curable so there's still hope, it's not the end of the world, although I appreciate its not the news any of us would want so I will definitely keep my fingers crossed for you!
Now the trick for the next few days is to keep as busy as you can, without over doing it. Do you have family and friends to support you? Anyone in particular to listen to you. If so meet them for coffee or invite them round, just don't spend too much time on your own over thinking things! Above all else please DON'T use Dr GOOGLE because all it will do at the moment is worry you more. Stick with this site, we are all here to listen and to help you through!
I could babble on for a few more hours, but I have probably bored you enough! If you are awake over the next few nights feel free to pop on and say hi. Or if you just want to find something light hearted to take your mind off things pop on and look at the photos! Between us we have come up with some really cute/humorous pics! If you have a favourite animal, let us know and we'll see what we can do!
Having Cancer is the Pitts Hun, but the one thing I can guarantee you, is that you will never be alone and you will make some fantastic and understanding friends over the coming months! Some of whom i'm sure will become very special to you!
GOOD LUCK, Hun with everything. I look forward to hearing from you again.
MORNING ALL.......... well morning ish!
Anyone got any nice plans for the day? Mine involves a dog walk, then coffee shop, food shopping, home to put feet up......maybe a bit of colouring if my fingers loosen up a bit, Then possibly an afternoon nap! So not a bad day, sounds boring to most but for me that will be an exhausting day!
Then back to the start of another week of work! (((((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))) to all xxxxxx
Thanks for the hugs and the reply LL/Sal. It really is crap isn't it. I had a tough few days at diagnosis but since then I was really not that worried or fazed by it, the waiting around for tests and results drove me a bit crazy but I was very positive and quite calm about having BC. I had one day post op where I had a night of uncontrollable sobbing which I put down to post anaesthetic blues but apart from that I so had my head around this. Quite a few of my friends were saying they were blown away by how well i was coping and how impressed they were with my positive attitude. Unfortunately Friday has given me a bit of a knock. I'm not crying or depressed as such but I'm feeling a bit more anxious pre this next round of tests. I think what is scaring me is the fact that I may now have to tell my Dad I have cancer. For the WLE and SNB I told him it was a biopsy and made out it was nothing. Now that I have to have more surgery I'm going to have to go into more detail and I know that this is going to knock him sideways, frontways and backways! I know I have to tell him, I just don't know how or when. Do I wait till after the next round of tests incase something else comes up or just rip that plaster off and get it over with ........... arrrgggghhhhhh. Decisions, decisions.
Think I just need a few good nights and days of sleep and I'll be back to my usual positive self. I don't think I've had enough afternoon naps since my op, lol.
Thanks for listening
Massive love and hugs Michele xxx
PS Cats and Kittens please, lol.
Hi Michele, I couldn't resist this picture!.......
Now to the serious stuff. To tell or not to tell. Firstly why do you not want to tell him? How close are you to him? Do you see him regularly......if so......I think not telling him will be impossible. Not sure if your treatment plan has been discussed yet, but I would think it's highly likely to involve Chemo and that's not something that you can hide from him!
None of us want to upset our parents, but at the same time trying to hide it from them just adds more worry and stress to ourselves, which is the last thing we need. It's taken me a long time, 4 years in fact to realise that it's NOT my job to protect others and help them to cope, it's my job to look after myself and do what's best for me both physically and emotionally.
We assume our parents can't cope, but in fact most of them can and will. Just remember there is so much help and support available to both the patient and the relatives these days, so don't shut him out. Imagine how he would feel, if he heard it from someone else?!
Thats just my opinion, of course I don't know the relationship between you and your dad, so it's a decision only you can make. But Cancer is a tough one to hide! (((((((((((( SUPPORTIVE HUGS)))))))))))) xxxxx
Hi Michele. Welcome aboard the roller coaster. I can't give you any better advice than Londonlass already has so I'll just tell you that I too thought telling my 82 (then) year old mother was the worst part. I absolutely dreaded it. She lives in a different city so I had to tell her by phone. I organised for my brother to visit her and arrive just as I was telling her, in case she collapsed or something. However, she was amazing. Shocked of course but totally coped. She said she'd rather have the truth and she was a "child of the Blitz" (which she was) so she could cope with anything. So it ended up being fine, despite me having worried myself silly about it. Now LL, as for nice things to do on the weekend. Yesterday I made a rainbow cake for a friend's son's 10th birthday party. I was pleased with it so I hope it looks good when they cut it today. Then I had a nap and afterwards made pizzas for dinner. That was Saturday. Sunday so far has been cleaning up after yesterday lol and I've been out in the garden. I pruned 6 roses but that's about my limit these days. Many of the roses, or at least the ones I did today, are on a sloping bed and I find it hard going balancing on the slope. My back is now killing me so time for codeine. I have about 25 to go, so another 4 days of it, but at least half of the rest are on flat ground so nowhere near as difficult. It's been a beautiful day though, 16 and sunny, no wind - not bad for the middle of winter.
Now I'm going to spend an hour or so rugmaking. It's my longterm project - I think it'll take two years lol. Oh the other thing I've done this last week, just finishing today, is convert a colouring in pattern from one of my books to a graphed pattern for a friend who's in to tapestry. Roast chicken with all the trimmings for dinner. My fave.
Hey Lynn, one for you........
Can't beat a corny joke!!! Heeheeheeheehee!!
Sounds like you have had a productive weekend! I love the smell of roses, reminds me of my grandparents they had rose bushes in their garden so pretty!
Well I hope you enjoy your roast chicken! I believe I am having the same in about 12 hours time! Might need some breakfast first!
Sending you a ((((((((hug))))))) by the way thanks for your wise words the other day, they really helped xxxxx
Funny that - they did all enjoy a small piece of purrpurroni each.
Hey Michele Mygel2 The waiting is the worst part of it that's for sure. Just wanted to add another vote to what Sal and Lynn have said.
I knew I had lymph node involvement from the start, as they saw it on the ultrasound. So I had a CT and bone scan at the beginning.
My mum was devastated initially, and it was tough as she lives in South Africa. But once she realised that the prognosis is actually pretty good in spite of being Grade 3 HER2+, she's been amazing. And mum and dad will be here on holiday next month - can't wait. There will be a lot of tears I'm sure, as I've not shed any yet and I probably need to.
Sorry, couldn't resist!!
And I'll add another hug to your collection - always plenty of those on here!!
Just in just in case you or anyone else needs an MRI I just want you to know this is what's happening on the outside! So although noisy it's nothing to be worried about!! Xxxx
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