Tearful, scared and full of dread

So so so so normal. You’ll have psyched yourself yp for the operation and now you are just left slightly flat and stressed and still full of GA drugs remember. 
whatever happens with the sentinel node biopsy etc try to remember that it’s very likely they have caught it early and the biopsy will just help them decude what treatment comes next. 
very very best of luck, be very kind to yourself, don’t be brave all the time - people actually like to feel needed and helpful. Have a good weep if you need to - it’s healthy!!

Hi Mary,

I have been feeling exactly the same, I am just over a week in recovery following a lumpectomy. My breast care nurse warned me about the tearful feeling after the op, our Adrenalin will have been running so high on the lead up to the op and now, having time to recover brings that Adrenalin right down. I am incredibly teary at the moment, it has shocked me, no matter how prepared I thought I was.

Maybe we need to remind ourselves that our bodies aren’t working as they normally would, even without a cancer diagnosis, any surgery would make you feel emotional. Also, our surgeries were the first step in removing the cancer. Whatever is next is about ensuring it’s all gone, or making sure it doesn’t return. 

I know that may not be useful, but just know that you are not alone.

xx

Thank you Fizzy P. I know all that is being said makes so much sense. I had a better day yesterday, although my patience seems to be less than normal with the grandchildren. Knowing I’m not alone having these feelings makes so much difference. Wishing you and everyone else the best of luck going forward. Hope everyone has a lovely Christmas. X

Thank you for the lovely words c22. They do make a difference. I’m hoping that as the days go on I’ll start to feel my old self again. Have a wonderful Christmas and best of luck going forward x

• You take it easy. What you feel is completely normal. If you weren’t feeling it now it would catch up with you eventually. Go with it don’t try to be brave you’ve been through alot. Try to have a good Christmas although I know the wait for the results is awful (actually the worst bit IMO)….. just remember that whatever they find it’s just part of the picture for building your treatment plan. So …… even if it’s the “worst” as in no clear margins and positive nodes (this it’s what I had for instance) - that just helps them decide what treatment to give you and you  - it’s all knowledge is power. 
  perfectly normal to think it’s everywhere! Weirdly that feeling does subside a bit….. not saying you’ll never worry about the twinges but I was told if it’s new abnormal and last more than two weeks then you tell someone, otherwise try not to worry 

Hi Mary, I had my op in May and it is a rollercoaster until you get the results through. Try to stay positive about it even though its unkown. How youre feeling is normal, emotions all over the place! Its your journey,noone elses, so dont feel guilty about anything. Take your time. Hopefully you have support around you and that will help get you through it. Take each day at a time, everyone will be different but all will head towards your results and future healing treatments. Cancer is a lonely place but there is support,as on here,where you can speak openly about your fears and they will be understood. Sending positive thoughts your way. x

I hope you managed to have a decent Xmas. Don’t feel guilty.. it’s a rubbish time regardless of the diagnosis. I have recently posted my annual post.. 4 years in remission since diagnosis and hope it offers yiu some reassurance x

It really is a very difficult time and takes time to adjust and get it together.  I am 3 years post diagnosis and NED which is no evidence of disease.  In US they use remission for metastatic disease.  So happy that all is well.  I don’t like going for my annual mammogram but try to keep myself together.  Hugs and Happy New Year

Hi Cyprusfav. I did  manage to have a nice Xmas thank you. I hope you did too. I’ve not been so bad the past days. I seem to,have developed a seroma which is quite large between my boob and armpit. Not sure how I can help this go down tho and Just starting to dread 2nd now. Praying for good news on the results of my biopsy. 
congratulations on your 4 years remission. Hoping this continues for you. I’ll read your blogs. Hopefully they will help. Take care. X

Hi Hopefully Barb. Congratulations on the news of NED. It does give a lot of hope. I’m not feeling as tearful etc now. Just scared of the not knowing until my results on 2nd. Praying that the lymph nodes were clear and I only need radiotherapy and hormone blockers. I guess I’ll have to accept if they weren’t. People like yourself give me the courage to try and feel positive. I hope 2025 will be a good year for you x