Starting to avoid people because of the silly things they say!!

I’m much the same x

I am not sure I would be great if it  happened to one of my colleagues - so I do try and see it that way too, but it isn’t always easy.
I was chatting to a friend about when would I go from wearing my Bob style wig that is slightly darker than my lost hair to the drastic change of going out with some regrowth that may well come back grey!! It was a big deal to me coping with this loss.  

her response was - wouldn’t it be easier to keep your head shaved and just keep wearing a wig!!!!

Noooooo!! I would like to be back to ‘normal’ as soon as I can. 
I guess it is just hard for others to realise the emotional upset of it all. 
I actually did see the funny side of it.  

Brilliant. This is when you need humour! I have a mouth the size of a tunnel but if I do say something daft I tend to go over that convo in my head and think, sod it that was wrong on so many levels and apologise, but most don’t seem to 

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I am 2 years after my diagnosis and comments like that still pisses me off! When you think you heard it there is always someone else with "good advice".

My Mother in law is the same every time she talks with me she says "everything will be fine" and it makes my blood boil. I am thinking can she see the future? Seriously I think people don't know what to say and they think that by saying that it will make us cancer patients feel better. It would be much better if they wouldn't say anything.

For me sometimes it feels like people want to see you sick. As soon as my chemo finish all the phonecall and visit finish as well.. It's like the treatment is done so we don't give a monkey about you again. Who don't want to have friends like that!

Yes, we need to weed them out but often easier said than done so we’ll get our frustrations out here!! It’s like the opposite of fair weather friends!

Everything will be fine is also a huge trigger for me, I’m finding that harder and harder to go over my head, count to 10!! 

I have recently been diagnosed with a stage 2 er pr negative her2 positive and its been a massive shock to my system im so glad i read this post as i thought i was alone in this. I havent even started treatment yet and honestly some of the things i hear from people are driving me crazy i am constantly reminded that il be fine cz im a strong person or that it could have been much worse or that you should think yourself lucky that there is treatment available in this day and age the worst one which made me totally lost for words is when my friends reaction was “is this something you can catch from each other” i dont even know how to react these days. 

Hi All, cathartic post! It helps to unload or read others unloading without judgement. Thanks. One thought, forgive me if this annoys anyone, for those self harming by pulling on hair and skin ... Might this be an opportunity to seek alternative Coping strategies? Lots of cancer charity's order free counseling I believe. Maggies Centre you can just drop into and they actually employ clinical psychologist is my understanding. Might be worth a try. Good luck everyone. Apologies if you think I'm overstepping. Just trying to be supportive. Maggies Centre was suggested to me and I did drop in and borrd the pants of one of the staff and felt oh so much better for it... She was lovely! They can offer assorted support. Worth a Google.

“Oh my...I now feel I'm in the company of people who 'get it.'. Never a truer word said..