BLOKES WITH BREAST CANCER

Hi    I have recently joined this female dominated cancer world  I have had mastectomy followed by lymph node clearance joined optima trial so skipped chemo and went onto radiotherapy for 5 days and tamoxifen daily. Pain scale: Biopsy 8-10  Mastectomy 3-10  Lymph node clearance 3-10  Radiotherapy  1-10 This is a really hard cancer if you happen to be a gentleman sat in waiting rooms listening to woman talking about there treatments but it is the only way a male can find out the pitfalls of treatments and i would like to thank and apologize for listening in because without this there is nothing out there for males! We are told dont go on internet at clinics but how on earth can you find something or someone to talk to,i personally felt like i had been pushed of a cliff as i could not find a solution having contacted a charity and the internet is all about female led questions. I mentioned this to a consultant and his nurse came up trumps with a male support network at Breast Cancer Now , so any males looking for advise ,support look at this charity because there is nothing out there for males and when you find a post it is usually years old . Thank you  

  • Hi, welcome to the Forum and sorry to hear about your breast cancer.  Appreciate that its very difficult for men with breast cancer and you will probably feel like the only one, but you are welcome here - this is a forum for people with breast cancer.  If you have any questions, comments or just want to chat, please use the forum.  If you need specific info about male breast cancer, then go to https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/breast-cancer/breast-cancer-in-men    They also have a booklet specifically for men, which you can access from that page - its in PDF form, or you can get it delivered.    I' ve also found their other booklets very useful.   Hope your treatment went well and you don't have too many side effects from the tamoxifen.

  • Hi and welcome.  I hear you. I have often thought of a man who walked into the clinic just behind me once and was told that he'd have to wait outside as partners weren't allowed.  I had to explain he wasn't with me and he had to explain he had an appointment of his own. Not great.

    breastcancernow.org is a great site - good to know you've found the support you need Relaxed

  • That is really sad

  • Breast cancer in men is a bit of an orphan indeed, but I am glad someone finally shows up and starts talking about it. I hope that if there are other men out there reading the forum who have breast cancer, they will now post. 

    From what you are saying it sounds like you have already had a lot of treatment. Other than the Tamoxifen, are you still in treatment now? If not, how are they suggesting to monitor you? Have you been offered genetic testing? (ignore any questions you don't feel like answering.)

    Stay with us and participate as much or as little as you like; with your experience of surgery and radiotherapy I am sure you will be able to answer a lot of questions and concerns exactly as others here, but with the benefit of a fresh perspective that the forum does not get to experience normally.

    Welcome to the community.

  • Hi GreyCats ,Just finished radio and just feeling red and tight right now, monitoring is funny word as i don't see a consultant again for 3-6 months, genetic testing is a no, may be a male thing i don't know. i don't mind answering any questions, I think males don't come on here as they feel isolated and after visiting a few times give up as there is never any males on here.I thought i would post after i had finished by treatment journey as before i was scanning posts looking for clues and tips off you ladies. If i can answer one bloke and point him in the right direction or give an answer fine .i will hopefully keep logging  in  on here so if your a bloke looking for breast cancer in men please post and i will get back to you .thank you for replying 

  • Thanks for answering my questions. On the genetic testing, I think they only offer it when there have been other instances of cancer in the family. Re follow up, in my area it's 3/4 months for the first.... I think 3 years? Not sure now, but there is the option to be seen earlier if there are concerns. 

    I am glad you are here for a personal reason too. I have a genetic mutation that I may or may not have passed on to my children, some of which are boys. This mutation raises the statistical chance of a few types of cancer, including breast cancer in both men and women. I have been wondering how would any of my boys know what could be signalling breast cancer trouble? For women, it's usually either they catch it during a mammogram, or a suspicious lump can be felt in the breast. They don't do mammograms on guys, which leads me to think that it would be through feeling a suspicious lump in the breast area that a guy might become alert to the possibility of trouble. Anything I am missing?

  • Hi 

    Welcome know you’d rather not have come looking for us but glad you found us . I was diagnosed in June 2019 check out my profile for bio if you want In the time I’ve been on here I think you are no 4 who has said Hi I’m male usually followed  by can I come on here .The answer is a resounding yes !

    If you still have any questions feel free to ask or jump in with answers for anyone else . Lots of threads of interest on here A few of us hang around on the awake thread ( can’t sleep ) it’s a very chatty thread with quite a bit of laughter included ,also a lot of longer term members offering support when needed .

    Walking back to happiness is about getting out and about taking pics so others can share .

    keep posting you never know there could be other males that will now join in ..following your example 

    edit don’t forget to fill in your profile it’s helpful for those who browse before joining in 

    One step at a time and ...Breathe !
    xoxox
    Margaret
  • You are spot on with the suspicious lump ,but hey blokes don't go to doctors, it took me 4 months to go and i only went because it started being painful 24/7 told i will now have regular mammograms my cancer was grade 2--  22mm

  • blokes don't go to doctors

    I used to say that to get my (now ex) husband to the GP you needed to use a collar, a leash, and preferably while he's unconscious (to quote George Smiley, "Cosh and Carry.") 

  • Thank you so much will take all of your advise....and breathe      northerner excellent name by the way