Brain tumours

A place for people affected by brain tumours or brain cancer to support one another, ask questions, and share their experiences.

Brain cancer ruined my relationship

Helena-J
Posted by

Thank you so much for your lovely message. I’m so sorry to hear about your health problems. I know it is much worse for the patient, so feel awful complaining. I guess I just got shut out of it all so much and I wanted to help him. I did find him one of the best drs in the UK and he had amazing treatment, sadly he still shouts at me that I wasn’t supportive and don’t care. It’s difficult for everyone in these situations I guess. 

Sneding you lots lots of love and thanks again for your reply. 

furnitureman
Posted by

Helena, It was a great reply.

The old brain doesn't well the best some of the times. You don't been the tomorrow ways. Thanks for the reply and look forward for the hope and good times.

furnitureman
Posted by

Sorry my gramma was as you should. Sorry but my brain is a mess these day

Maggs61
Posted by

I am so sorry you are going through this nightmare. I went through lots of similar situations with my husband. He had an oligoastrocytoma grade 3 he passed away in February after an 8 yr battle.Thre are no words I can find to give you hope, it is a cruelly ruthless cancer physically  and mentally. I can only send you hugs and hope you can find the strength to see it through

Love to you all x

furnitureman
Posted by

Thanks for your lovely message.

I find it difficulty to write now, I used to be a lawyer and regularly write well.

I work in a temporary community warehouse making furniture. It helps me through the time. 

Helena-J
Posted by

Furnitureman, I’m so pleased you are doing something positive. You sound such a lovely person and I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m sure you will make a difference in this world with your furniture making. At least it is so productive and positive to do such a thing. Wish you lots and lots of luck with everything. 

Helena-J
Posted by

Hi Maggs

Thanks you for your message. I am so so sorry for your loss. 

Brain tumours I have found are so different to other cancers because of the different mental abilities. I don’t even know sometimes if my husband realised how mean he’d been, but would also almost get a kick out of being as nasty as possible . Then later would be asking if I wanted some champagne or something as if nothing had happened. I remember my birthday a few years ago and he berated me in a restaurant. I started crying and he was mocking that everyone was looking at me and for me to stop ‘blubbing’ and then about an hour later calmly said, ‘ would you like some champagne?!’ By that time is left all my dinner and it had gone cold and I was just devastated. I’d even said, not today, please, not on my birthday! I am writing this as I do miss him. I miss the nice man. So doing this helps remind me of why I left him. He must have been ill for a very long time. I did in fact used to look at him sometimes and think, ‘there’s something wrong with your brain’ as nobody would speak and do the things he did to me. But yeah, it’s soo sooo hard as if I’d known about the brain tumour I obviously wouldn’t have left and would have tried to get help. That too makes me feel guilty. Thought the brain tumour charity were great and said I did the right thing by leaving as you can’t live with someone if they’re so abusive that you have to get the police etc. 

Big hugs to you Maggs. I hope next year will be a good year for you xx

Helena-J
Posted by

Sorry for typos, my phone rang in the middle of this and I don’t know how to edit on here

Maggs61
Posted by

Thank you for your sharing. I have never in my 62 yrs dealt with anything so awful. I miss my husband terribly,  but, the man that left me was not the man I new 8 yrs ago when all that began. It is a cruel disease 

Helena-J
Posted by

I absolutely agree. I’m so so sorry for your suffering. The problem is I know even if something happens, his family are so awkward they wouldn’t allow me to the funeral even. I can’t believe it’s all gone so horribly wrong. His family certainly haven’t helped and have made the situation worse. For so long I wanted to ask them for help as something wasn’t right, but now I’m allowed nowhere near him. It’s unbelievable. Last night I dreamt that we were back together and then I woke this morning and realised the truth. It’s awful.