losing the fight

Back to work at the start of a new term we were all devastated to hear that a dear friend and colleague had been diagnosed with breast cancer.Within weeks I too was diagnosed with cancer after finding a large lump in my stomach.Mine was ovarian.We became fighters together, partners in crime!We helped each other through tough chemo weeks and caught up over coffee discussing the pros and cons of losing our hair, yes there were many laughs too.At the end of our respective chemo we had a wonderful afternoon together when we attended a "look good ,feel good" session.I was treated to a few days away and my friend planned a celebration party for her 50th before starting on radiotherapy.12months on and things were looking good, we were both back at work as teaching assistants at a primary school.I went for routine check only for them to find another tumour had appeared and i was told my condition was terminal.I was selected for a trial drug and started another round of chemo.Betweeen chemo I was at work and together with my friend organised three grande coffee mornings for cancer charities raising lots of money.We also did 2 race for life walks together.We enjoyed "putting something back".Then my friend had some bad news, her cancer had gone further and she too was diagnosed as terminal and was to have more chemo.time was passing and she wasnt responding well to treatment.She attended a school "fuddle" 4 weeks ago and it was lovely to see her and chat.She was tired but in good spirits. Today i learnt that she lost her fight.God Bless Karen.Thankfully no more pain.I will keep on fighting for us both.

  • You must be feeling really devastated, especially as you not only lost a colleague but a fellow traveller throughout your treatment. I am so sorry for you. Suddenly it does not seem such a sunny day any more. All my love, xxx Penny
  • You must be feeling really devastated, especially as you not only lost a colleague but a fellow traveller throughout your treatment. I am so sorry for you. Suddenly it does not seem such a sunny day any more. All my love, xxx Penny
  • Dear Lesley, I'm so very sorry to hear about your dear friend. I just had to leave a little message for you, but now my mind has gone totally blank.

    Trully great friends
    are hard to find,
    difficult to leave
    and impossible to forget.

    Thinking of you
    Love and a great big hug!
    Kerry

  • Dear Lesley, I'm so very sorry to hear about your dear friend. I just had to leave a little message for you, but now my mind has gone totally blank.

    Trully great friends
    are hard to find,
    difficult to leave
    and impossible to forget.

    Thinking of you
    Love and a great big hug!
    Kerry

  • really sorry Lesley to hear about your friend, I too have a couple of friends who have gone through cancer treatment at the same time as myself and I can't imagine losing either of them. Take care of yourself

    Love Linda x
  • really sorry Lesley to hear about your friend, I too have a couple of friends who have gone through cancer treatment at the same time as myself and I can't imagine losing either of them. Take care of yourself

    Love Linda x
  • I too have lost someone dear to cancer and I know how hard this must be for you. Try to stay strong and be possitive, my thoughts are with you at this very hard time xx
  • I too have lost someone dear to cancer and I know how hard this must be for you. Try to stay strong and be possitive, my thoughts are with you at this very hard time xx
  • Ho Lesley,

    I am so sad to read that your friend lost her fight. I hope you continually take comfort from your new friends here. Sending you lots of hugs.

    LOL as well,

    Debbie and April xxxx
  • Ho Lesley,

    I am so sad to read that your friend lost her fight. I hope you continually take comfort from your new friends here. Sending you lots of hugs.

    LOL as well,

    Debbie and April xxxx
  • thank you so much for your comments, they mean alot.It has been a difficult week at school for all of us.I know I shouldnt, as every tells me but i feel a little guilty by being there.Why is it that Karens fight got too hard for her to pull through yet mine (at the moment )is going okay?I know its a question that has too many answers and maybe I dont want to hear them but i do know that just by writing it down here you will know how im feeling.We all have to keep fighting,we owe it to ourselves and all those for whom it just became too hard.
  • thank you so much for your comments, they mean alot.It has been a difficult week at school for all of us.I know I shouldnt, as every tells me but i feel a little guilty by being there.Why is it that Karens fight got too hard for her to pull through yet mine (at the moment )is going okay?I know its a question that has too many answers and maybe I dont want to hear them but i do know that just by writing it down here you will know how im feeling.We all have to keep fighting,we owe it to ourselves and all those for whom it just became too hard.
  • What you are talking about sounds like the unjustified but intense guilt felt by some of the Holocaust survivors. Why them? Why not others? This must be hard-wired into some of us... It must be really difficult for you - but don't feel guilty about continuing your own fight: that is what Karen would want for you. Lots of love, Penny
  • What you are talking about sounds like the unjustified but intense guilt felt by some of the Holocaust survivors. Why them? Why not others? This must be hard-wired into some of us... It must be really difficult for you - but don't feel guilty about continuing your own fight: that is what Karen would want for you. Lots of love, Penny
  • Hi Lesley

    I've just come across your thread. Its such a tragedy when this happens. I used to work with a fantastic girl called Valerie, we were both seconded to our HQ in London so shared a flat for 6 months. During that time she was diagnosed with secondary cancer (breast). She'd never told us that she'd had breast cancer before she started working with us so it was a shock. She died 3 years later having been told originally that she had about 6 months to live. A more vibrant, sweet, caring person was hard to find. She died in 1998 aged 38.

    I never imagined that 6 years later I'd be fighting the same fight. But I'm inspired by her, she approached each day with such vigour and enthusiasm - right to the end, so that's my approach too. I think of her always. She left me a pair of diamond earrings and we had one of the diamonds put into Paul's wedding ring. I hadn't decided what to do with the other one (it didn't feel right to wear the earrings). Our friends live on in our thoughts and I feel honoured to have known her. I know you will feel the same.

    Keep strong Lesley.

    Love Carole
    xxxxx
  • Hi Lesley

    I've just come across your thread. Its such a tragedy when this happens. I used to work with a fantastic girl called Valerie, we were both seconded to our HQ in London so shared a flat for 6 months. During that time she was diagnosed with secondary cancer (breast). She'd never told us that she'd had breast cancer before she started working with us so it was a shock. She died 3 years later having been told originally that she had about 6 months to live. A more vibrant, sweet, caring person was hard to find. She died in 1998 aged 38.

    I never imagined that 6 years later I'd be fighting the same fight. But I'm inspired by her, she approached each day with such vigour and enthusiasm - right to the end, so that's my approach too. I think of her always. She left me a pair of diamond earrings and we had one of the diamonds put into Paul's wedding ring. I hadn't decided what to do with the other one (it didn't feel right to wear the earrings). Our friends live on in our thoughts and I feel honoured to have known her. I know you will feel the same.

    Keep strong Lesley.

    Love Carole
    xxxxx