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My name is Molly and I'm 21.
I have my pre op appointment tomorrow for my colonoscopy as I am going under GA. I am so scared for my colonoscopy. I had my bloods done Monday and my iron levels are getting lower. I am iron deficient without anemia and I've managed to somehow loose 12 pounds in 2 months (could be less as didn't know when it started). I have blood in my stools everyday and constant diarrhea. Appetite is crap these days and it's only occasional I will get hungry. I am so tired all of the time but yet my insomnia kicks in when it's bed time but will easily sleep over 12 hours when I fall asleep. My mum passed away from bowel cancer at 45 when I was 11. Her auntie also passed from bowel cancer and her aunties daughter. My dad's mum is also suspected of bowel cancer and has iron deficiency anemia.
I am so terrified that the odds are against me. I got put under a 2 week wait and have been told I don't have hemmeroids. I was told I need an urgent colonoscopy especially with how severe my mum's cancer was as she didn't make 2 years and was constantly on chemo.
My hair is falling out and I'm also very pale which I'm assuming is to do with the iron.
I am so lost...
hi mollyour going through a bad time and it's understandable your world's all over.iv been through the same thing and it's not nice.you have to in some mad way be positive in thinking.god knows how but you must.your stomach will be in knots.your whole body like a nervous wreck.I know because iv been through it.iv got multiple cancer one of them being colon.if they do and god hopes they don't but if the do find something they can operate. every door will be open.your young so you should have some big fighting power hidden in your body.But most of all STAY FOCUSED and take one step at a time.take some time as time out.you must get a grip and think of good things .I know it's easy said then do but FIGHT.your not alone.all of us on here are afraid and we know what your going through.there's no magic won only you.your feeling lost because you don't know where your coming or going. close your eyes.blank everything out and remember some of the good times in life.stay focused at all cost and for gods sake DON'T GIVE IN.if you've got cancer then fight.god bless
My heart goes out to you. My mum died of colon cancer and I had an emergency op to remove a tumour and most of my colon on Boxing Day. But I am now cancer free and treatments are improving all the time, so even if they find cancer, which I hope they don’t, there is every reason to be optimistic.
I hope tomorrow goes well and you feel supported and cared for by the medical team. Make sure you let your family and friends look after you. I shall keep my fingers crossed for a good result. Let us know how you get on. Lots of people on here will be rooting for you.
Love from Anna
Hi Anna. Emergency ops are frightening, but glad it all went well. My emergency was exactly 56 months ago today and no problems since. So I share your optomism! Sorry about your Mum. My thoughts are with you too, Molly. X
How did everything go?
Sorry only just seen my messages. Pre op wasn't great the lady told me the reason for my iron deficiency probably is because I may have bowel cancer so my anxiety kicked in. Heart rate was 130bpm and had a very concerned nurse who sent me for an ecg which was fine. Had to have my bloods re checked due to low iron and they are concerned as my Monday bloods shows I have an infection somewhere. I failed a respitary test which isn't good too. Yesterday and today I have felt so poorly. Yesterday I was sick twice so the food I did eat came back out and also I had around 15 liquid stools which contained the usual blood. Felt so ill and shaky and just not myself. Waiting for a date for my colonoscopy now but unsure whether I'll be allowed it if I'm not infection free even though no one has bothered to find out what the infection is. I'm so scared though...
Spoke with the hospital today and my colonoscopy is Friday. My prep is being sent out in the post to me. They haven't yet received my bloods back to compare them with my gps ones and I have been chasing. I'm absolutely petrified now.
Please don't be scared - you need the colonoscopy to find out what is going on then you will know what (if anything) you are dealing with.
Do you know if you're having moviprep or picolax sent out?
Dont forget we're all here for you
You've got hundreds of people on here at varying stages and different conditions.
I am one of them.
But I bet if you ask them all what do they wish they had done differently it would be the same thing.
Seriously. Your imagination will conjur far worse than what reality has in store for you.
You are following the same path I did, and today I look back and wish I had just taken one day at a time.
I hope you can too. Youve definately started out in the right way by sharing. I found doing this helped hugely.
Tell us tomorrow, or Thursday how you got on.
Wishing you relaxation x
They never said what my prep was, just that it's being sent out in the post. I sound so over dramatic I mean people have been through so much worse. When I had my suspected gynae cancer last year I didn't really feel anything but this one because of my mum I just feel so terrified and I don't know what to think. I haven't even been diagnosed with anything but yet I'm petrified. Imagine if they diagnosed something. It is getting on top of me. I literally sound so pathetic I just can't describe how I'm feeling other than scared. I don't want to hear results. I've been told I've got to have these every 4 years so every 4 years I will endure these same thoughts for the rest of my life thinking am I sick am I not sick? It's just so horrible. I feel so lost. My period is due anyday which doesn't help...
Can you even have a colonoscopy whilst on your period? I'm having a GA xx
Yes it's a horrible time and you're not being pathetic - we've all been there and the not knowing is by far the worst time.
Will somebody be going with you? Whatever the outcome then it is better to be checked regularly and anything found can be dealt with quickly and an action plan put in place.
I wouldn't have thought having your period would be a problem but there may be a contact number with your prep that you could ring just to check?
Try and keep your mind occupied with something else as worrying will just make your tummy and boweks more upset. I know it's hard but it will soon be done and perhaps you could plan something nice for the weekend - coffee and cake is always good.
Be strong - you can do this
Oh molly you are having a difficult time. It isn't easy especially with your history you are bound to go straight to the worst possible scenario. In fact we are all probably guilty of that as soon as you go down the big C route that's unfortunately where your mind goes. A friend of mine found a lump in her breast and she immediately thought that she would've definitely have cancer, that it would be the worst kind and that it would have spread everywhere. It turned out to be nothing and she is fine but it made me think I kind of did all that too except in my case it was cancer and it had spread! That said I have been week since my treatment ended in January 2016.
I had acupuncture when I was diagnosed which believe it or not did help to relax me. I also sought out the local cancer support centre who were wonderfully supportive and I went to a few relaxation classes maybe there's one near you? My acupuncturist is a lovely Chinese man who said things like will worrying make it go away? The answer is no so don't give it the energy. Which is easier said than done. Chances are this could all be something very fixable and if it isn't you are young and have a much better chance than someone much older than you. I was so anxious when diagnosed as I had so many different tests so there was a long time between diagnosis and treatment (nearly 2 months) I couldn't sleep or eat and I cried a lot. Likewise (I've kind of lost the thread so I apologise) not sure who said it but I wish I had relaxed too. Anxiety makes everything worse and really affects bowels causing lots of diarrhoea etc. So probably exacerbating your symptoms a lot. I think what I'm trying to say is it is what it is and once you know one way or the other you will be able to deal with this. Meantime see your gp who might give you something to help with sleeping anxiety etc
friday will come and go and you will hopefully be reassured. Everyone is different and you will be thinking about your mum but you are not her, treatments have improved and you are young! It's a good thing to be checked every few years as my children will be too as cancer starts off as a polyp and takes years to grow into cancer so early diagnosis and or removal of polyps if there are any is great.
let us know how you get on and like everyone here says try to relax and breathe xxxxxx
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