Jonathans battle is lost

my sons battle against bowel/secondary liver cancer is lost

23 Jan 2017 21:21

Can only just bring myself to update you on Jonathans fight against bowel cancer and metastes to his whole liver.  He was told just before Christmas that the chemo had damaged his liver to the extent that it could no longer process bile,  This meant that he had to have a totally fat free diet, no easy thing.  He knew that was not sustainable as it causes problems of its own and as he became more jaundiced that in itself brings more problems. He was on steroids and was determined to do so much before he was unable to, he spent hours with his tractor getting it up to spec, sorted out his financial affairs, made arrangement for his funeral, he had a maasive collection of tools, machines etc which he sold, and tried to do as much to lessen the burden on his wife.  We had a party for him a week ago on Sunday all his friends came and a good time was had by all.  We could see he was tiring and the yellow was quite bright. He didnt get up on Wednesday , my husband, both his sisters and I spent the day and evening at his house with him and Faye (his wife).  He was able to talk a little but squeezed our hands.  I stayed till late that night.   We all returned on Thursday and he could still squeeze our hands later in the afternoon we knew that  his time with us was coming to an end and he slipped away peacefully with Faye and I holding his hands and his daddy and sisters with him.  He had been so terrified of being in pain, in hospital and being alone and none of that happened.  I am still numb and cannot believe I shall never see him again, empty chair at the table. He fought so hard since he was diagnosed eight and a half months ago and this wicked disease could not be beaten.  I take joy in the stories that I read on this forum of the people who have beaten the Big C and such sadness in those stories of loss and heartbreak that I now join.  We all see our children as a gift and so precious to us, as a parent you never expect to outlive your child and this is such a hard thing to face, My husband and daughters are so heartbroken and we have to face the funeral on Friday and do what he did fill every minute not to waste precious time, as none of us know how much time we have.   Sons and mums special special bond, nothing will ever be the same again.

leslie

  • Leslie , You are in my heart. You surrounded him in the strength of your love and kept him at peace. I think every mother here is in agony just thinking about the courage that took when your heart was in a thousand pieces. 

    You raised a fine son who tried to make it easier on his wife. That character and selflessness leaves me speechless. 

    In our thoughts and hearts always,

    Court

  • Hi ,

    I'm so, so sorry to hear about Jonathan. We're always sad to hear this news and we offer you our condolences.

    Please know that we're thinking of you and your family at this time, and we're here with support and advice if you need us. Keep posting on the Community if you feel it helps, as I'm sure other members will be full of words of comfort.

    Remember, if you need to speak to someone directly, the Macmillan support line is available (freephone 0808 808 0000, M-F, 9am-8pm).

    Sending you a big hug.

    Take care,

    Jazmine

    Online Community Officer
    Macmillan Community team

  • I'm so sorry  for your loss.

    What a hero your son was, to try to do so much to make things easier for his wife and parents in his last weeks. You must all be so proud to have known and loved him.


    Flights of angels.....


    XxxNiobe

  • Dear Leslie

    No words can convey how I felt for you when I read your post this morning.  I send my love and condolences to your and your family.  I wish I was close by so I could give you a hug.

    Your strength and support must have been a great comfort to Jonathan and Faye over the last few months, and as Court says you must be so proud of all he managed to accomplish, thinking of others rather than himself.

    Take care Leslie and we are all here if you need us.

    Much love 

    Lynne

     

  • Hello Jonathan's mum. 

    I am so so sorry for your loss. As others have said, Jonathan sounds like he was a very special young man. It seems that you instilled strong family values in him and a heart full of love. You must be very proud of him. Take care of yourself and take some comfort if you can from others, including those on this site. 

    With love, and hugs if I could. Pauline X

  • Leslie, sorry to hear about the lost of your beloved son. I have been following your blogs hoping that some sort of miracle could cure him. My husband has bowel will just about all his liver covered with metastasis which as you know it's incurable. We are going through Chemo but he is starting to get tired. Can't believe we are all still waiting for a cure. Sending my love to you and your family at this very difficult time xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Dear Leslie,  I am so very sorry to hear of Jonathans passing.  This must be an un-bearable time for you all.


    You have been in my thoughts so often over the last few days and will continue to be in the days ahead.


    Sending you love and hugs at such a difficult time.

    Beverley

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    So sorry. Lost for words. I wish you strength for the funeral.

    Best wishes

    EdP

  • I am soooo sorry for your loss of Jonathan my thoughts are with you all as a family. And I hope his tractor rides with him wherever he is xx

    God bless you all xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Leslie,

    Wow, such strength to come on here and tell such a terrible and sad story. My heart goes out to you and your family. 

    I read your post today as I was waiting for a PET CT scan. It brought tears to my eyes in a packed waiting room.

    I am 42 and married with 2 kids (19 and 14). I was diagnosed with terminal bowel cancer on 3rd June 2016 and given 12 months. This was after having originally being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis in June 2015. The last 3 months have been terrible but luckily for me I feel pretty good today after a 12 day stint in the hospice. I have faced lots of dark days recently and thought many times of the situation you have just faced. 

    I hadn't spoken to my mum and sister for many years until recently. If it wasn't for my illness i probably would never have spoken to them again. However, situations like this make you appreciate what is truly important in life and your story has really, really inspired me to make the most of life and to live each day as if it was the last.

    You are an inspiration to me and have truly given me a kick start.

    All the best

    Mark