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Bone, secondary cancer

Secondary bone cancer is cancer that has spread to the bones from a primary cancer somewhere else in the body. This group is for people affected by secondary bone cancer to share experiences and get support.

How to care for dad at home

Posted by

My Dad was diagnosed with CUP 2 weeks ago. He spent a week in hospital whilst they sorted pain relief arranged scans and reffered him to oncology. He stayed with me and my family for a week but it quickly became apparent he wasn't coping with the pain or able to complete simple tasks for himself he was in too much pain to wash. After he couldn't catch his breath after taking him for blood tests on Thursday and him being distressed with the pain we took him to hospital. They advised that a bone biopsy they had scheduled for this Monday would no longer be  pertinent the oncologist feels that all the trouble he has had this last week is just the disease progressing and its time to just think in Terms of pain management and getting his affairs in order to which he has not done anything towards despite having bladder cancer last year. We haven't been given any idea of what to expect as things progress or how quickly it might. The discussion seems to revolve around getting his pain sorted to he can come home to me. I don't feel thats realistic I have 3 children aged 8 down to 2 and only an upstairs bathroom and no space anywhere for an extra bed. I want to care for him but if he is deteriorating at such a rate I don't know how I will do it or where to go for help. Has anyone else been in this situation. I feel so lost and guilty, frustrated and so sad. Sorry long post! 

Posted by

Hi and welcome to the online community although I'm sorry that you've had to find us

I noticed that you've joined the carers only group and think that it would be a good idea to post this question there as well. The folks in that group will have come across the sort of thing you're asking about before and should be able to tell you how to go about arranging help for you and your dad. Clicking on the link I've created will take you back to that group.

You may also find this information on looking after someone with cancer helpful as, amongst other things, it tells you how to organise help before your dad leaves hospital as well as what support you should get from health professionals.


 "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

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