I don’t really know where to start. Today 02.05.2019 my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer, which has spread to her bones. (Pelvic and rib). I don’t really know how to feel right now, it’s been 5 hours since we got the news and I feel so terrible. All I can think about is how long I have left with her, the things in my life I want her to be there for. I’m being so selfish. She raised me, she’s been my mother and my father and I just want, maybe even need to know how long we have. Myself and my partner are organising our wedding and looking at dates for 2021 and I now feel like i can’t wait that long. Everything I’ve read online says survival rate is measured in months for secondary bone cancer that has spread from the lungs
I just don’t know what to do. Sorry for rambling, I know I’m not talking to anyone in perticular, I just didn’t know who, where or how else to express this feeling right now.im not ready to be without her. :’(
Hi Alexxo94 and welcome to the online community although I'm sorry that you've had to find us.
It's perfectly normal to want your grandmother to be there with you and not at all selfish. Could I suggest that you stay away from google as you'll only find worse case scenarios. Have you and your grandmother had a discussion yet with her consultant to find out what sort of treatment is being proposed?
If you want to know more about your grandmother's diagnosis then the best people to speak to are her consultant or cancer nurse specialist (CNS). Obviously you can only do this with her permission.
Could I suggest that you join the family and friends group where you can share your feelings and get support from others who have a loved one with cancer.
To join this group just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then post your question by selecting 'start a discussion'. If you want to respond to an existing post click on 'reply'.
When you have a minute it would be really useful if could pop something about your grandmother's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
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I don’t think I can help with your questions but my mother has been diagnosed recently with lung cancer that has spread to her spine. I can empathise with how all over the place your emotions are. Some days I feel numb, others I feel overwhelmed. I feel angry and I feel sad. I think this is normal but it certainly feels alien.
It’s not selfish to think of things you want your grandmother to be around for at all. I worry about all the things my mother will miss too like seeing her granddaughter grow. It’s because they are so well loved we want them here, that’s not selfish.
I don’t know if this reply has helped a little or not. Ive only been on this site a few times but I find it a good place to vent full of friendly people xx
Hi Alexxo94, I was diagnosed with the same problems 2 years ago. I have never asked for a prognosis of how long I may have but here I am two years later still walking albeit with a stick, and about to go on a cruise. I was told at the time my cancer is incurable but it is treatable, I had chemotherapy for a while which kept it at bay, now I’m on pain relief meds and occasional radiotherapy which reduces pain on specific bones. I’m all over the place sometimes when I think about the future but 2 years on I feel more positive with the support of friends and family and medical and support staff from Macmillan’s and Marie Curie who give me help with pain control.
I know this thread/your post is for alexxo94 but can I thank you for your response also. Hearing that you didn’t ask for a prognosis and 2 years on remain independent having had a similar diagnosis to my mother has really helped my hope/positivity.
I know everyone is different and responds differently so you can’t directly compare but as I say it’s helped me to hear your experience so thank you.
Could I ask if you have had immunotherapy also? My mother has had her first chemo a week ago. They have said she is also be able to have immunotherapy - apparently not all cancers are suitable for this so was wondering if you have any info or experience. Apologies if I’m overstepping asking you this
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