I have recently developed an off on sensation of a burning feeling in my hips. I have had a CT scan yesterday and am waiting on my results. I am so worried that this sensation means the cancer has spread. I am also a mess at the moment as I am so anxious. I should know the results next week. I do wonder sometimes if the medical profession understand the anxiety we go through. I keep thinking I can't change anything so try and stay positive but I fail miserably. When I go to bed I toss and turn all night thinking it all over. Tried taking a sleeping pill but it didn't work. So tired of feeling like I have no future. I turn 60 in August and wont get my pension due to Government changes in the pension age. I doube very much I will see it at 66. Sorry for the moan all x
Hey there! Try to slow down and breathe. I absolutely understand what you are going through but preemptive anxiety is not good. It might be nothing! It might be something that can be easily sorted. The nights are the worst when your brain goes into overdrive. I hope all is well. Let us all know how you get on. I’m living it too.
all good wishes
Oh Ellie... think we are all finding it rough lately.
I seen my gp today after being in constant pain for months and even cried as I’m desperate for some peace now and I don’t do crying but I’ve been given some neurontin for nerve pain and some diazepam incase the spasms become too much but I feel slightly better after having taken just one around 5 I can take a deep breath and cough!
Anyway I do hope that you try and not worry too much and maybe the burning is something unrealated although we always think the worst don’t we.. and why wouldn’t we.. I also have a small pension that I wont be able to use as I keep thinking like you I won’t be here and it’s not due yet, but with a letter from oncologist and a letter saying the magic words you don’t want to hear you can access earlier... so maybe a thought.. mine is an old serp pension but even a couple of hundred or thousand is memories for me.. try and stay positive Ellie sending a big hug to you xxxx
I haven't got any private pensions as they were never offered when I was working so would be dependant on state pension. I can't access this early. Dont you wish sometimes you could wake up from this bad dream x
Every bloody day Ellie... the past few months of pain my head has been in a very dark place and I questioned my life, is this it now? Never recover PROPERLY from certainty things ever again, is this it? Is this my life for however long I have left.. I’ve always bounced back dusted myself down and plodded in but I’ve had to stop and evaluate and realise I’m not well and I have to give myself time to regroup and recover in my own time... I’m 50 and I’m in a wheelchair at the minute because of cancer and I’m so mad and angry and pissed off thaybi can’t help myself.. I’ve never felt so debilitated,
ive always helped other either just by being me or my job and now it’s reversed I’m struggling, hate the pity looks and I hate even saying that it makes me sound ungrateful and insensitive but right now I can’t help it... it’s my time to be angry I think I have the right and I’m hurting nobody I hope... I will eventually get over myself and become me again as will you Ellie.. you bounced back last year during your holiday you just have to find the strength again but I understand if your not in the right place you can’t do it just yet xx
Hello - I hope you get to a better place. Everyone used to say it’s not money that matters but it’s health. I would give everything to be well but a bit of extra cash would help as well. Well there’s nothing I can do but keep my fingers crossed for my results. We have to keep going, for what other choice do we have x
So it’s 4.13 and I’m laid here in pain again thinking another day to get through...
never felt so bloody miserable even breathing hurts right now... time for meds I think... wish I had a cuppa right now
It so awful not being able to sleep. I think I've had about 3 hours all night, so that's me wiped out for the day. Hope you finally managed to get some sleep xx
To be fair, even when I've had what Drs would class as a good night's sleep, I'm not always refreshed like I should be. So there's also a case for quality over quantity. I managed 4 hours last night according to my watch, and from the way I feel - I foresee naps in my future.
Peebee, can you take some of your new painkillers to help? I find taking some right before bed helps me sleep better. I meant to take some last night and completely forgot until I was in bed; and at that point there was no chance I was getting up and going downstairs for pills, to then head back up to bed again.
How is that burning sensation Ellie? Still there? Just a random one, have you had your Vitamin D checked recently? A low reading of that can make bones ache and burn.
Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today. - Thich Nhat Hanh
Hey lass.... me like you also has everything to hand before I climb the stairs or it stays there! I do have my partner to help me but when your alone your alone... I took the new tablets around t time and felt slightly better I now think that was psychosomatic and the leaflet says up to two weeks so maybe I was desperate for them to work... I’ll take them properly today as didn’t have the time to get the full dose in. I was screaming with pain when I got to bed so resorted to diazepam I just can’t bear the muscle spasms it’s like someone has a hand inside my back and is just pulling them around. Woke in pain around 3 and took morphine, paracetamol etc answer I’ve just woke again... gonna have a brew the other half has just brought me and try and get up once meds have kicked in... Ellie lass maybe right about vit d I’ve just had all my bloods done due to constant transfusions after my chemo and I have to say my d and b levels were on the floor! I’m having injections for b and capsules for d and my appetite is back through the roof and if it wasn’t for the post radiotherapy pain I would be pain free so maybe it’s just someone like that? We always assume the worst cos we live here and sometimes it really is just the small stuff...
love to everyone today Jo xx
i presume they check them in my monthly blood tests. It’s not been mentioned but I take a calcium supplement that has vitamin D included. The sensation is not too bad today x
Vitamin D helps with calcium absorption, so there's usually a little D in there to help you get the most of the C. But it's not enough D to make a difference if you're low.
Can't hurt to make the enquiry and just check that it's checked. As it's a separate test that needs requested and isn't one of the mass tests done. I know it's one some thyroid cancer patients need to fight for, even though it's well known that thyroid cancer patients often end up Vitamin D deficient.
But all hospitals are different, as are all diseases - so I've no idea what you might have included in your regular testing I'm afraid.
I'm just glad it's not so bad today, so hopefully long may the improvement continue!
Ellie mine had to be added separate, so please ask... having my appetite back has made such a difference! And I’ve just been to the loo!!!! Oh my days I feel so much better.., hahahaha we have to laugh don’t we... I’m off for a bath gin in hand and all my Christmas smellies to use and new loungers for after and the other half has gone for a Chinese.. happy Saturday to you all.. seems mine is ending on a slightly happy note than it started xx
Sounds like an awesome Saturday to me Jo!
YAY for bowel movement! Was it prunes that helped? I'd quite like to go less tbh. Just been for a poo, for the 6th time today. Enough is enough FFS.
I hope you smell wonderful and glitter like a festive faerie! Enjoy the Chinese!
Hahahaha I smell like sanctuary spa and all wrapped in a marksys lounge suit... feel like a new woman!!! Even managed to shave me legs!
never know your luck!!! Lol
6 times.... I’d be demented lass I can never decide what’s best sometimes as I feel quite sick after cos your belly is all swishing around and moving like now and I can smell the Chinese I feel queasy but I’m gonna eat it anyway!
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