Bladder cancer

A place for people affected by bladder cancer to support one another, ask questions, and share their experiences.

The Waiting Game

Herothedog
Posted by

I totally understand the wish not to announce the disease to lots of people, it can feel that one becomes defined by the illness. However I would hate us to go back to the days when everyone referred to the C word and spoke of it in hushed voices as it was seen as a death sentence. With so many treatments available and constantly being developed, many folk live long healthy lives after diagnosis now. And It’s no weakness to struggle with your see-sawing emotions. Cancer is definitely a big shock and everyone starts off feeling terrified. Over the past 3 years the most valuable lesson I have learned is to take one day at a time and make the most of every minute. Strange but I have become a more contented person thanks to cancer. x

lucy-l
Posted by

Hi Tenseman,

it sounds as though both you and your wife are struggling with this albeit in different ways. I felt like you when my husband was diagnosed with cancer 6 months after my diagnosis. I could cope with my own but  fell apart with his diagnosis. Luckily I was able to get help through counselling and therapy.Perhaps talking it through with your GP may help you.

The main thing to focus on is that it is a very treatable cancer as others will tell you.

Now you have found this site you know we are all here for you whether you just want to talk or get advice.

Best wishes Luce

Tenseman
Posted by

I do need some emotional help, I talk it over with my kids, two girls doing psychology at school so they have skills but I must be careful to still be the strong parent for them. my gp got me on the waiting list for cbt before my wife's diagnosis as I had depression already. Her situation is of course the most important to me, my problem is only mental and can be delayed. I wake up early , bed sheets set with sweat in turmoil over C and me.

lucy-l
Posted by

Talking to someone suited me best but there is some useful information online for depression and anxiety.

You could try these whilst you are waiting for your referral.

Two sites I have used are - Moodjuice and Mind. X

buttercup01
Posted by

Hi @tenseman

You could also contact the helpline on 0808 808 0000, either to talk things thru or to get info re Macmillan n Maggie's centres locally, who have face to face counselling.( On " in your area" too)

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.