Waiting diagnosis

I have found myself here looking for information and maybe reassurance!  My mum is 65, and has been getting progressively worse since mid December.  Mum is in heart failure (an added complication), but has had right sided abdo pain since November.  Then she was eating ok, but a trip to a&e in December due to the pain found her to have raised liver enzymes (10 times higher than they should be).  They sent us to the GP as told us off for going to a&e!!  The GP referred her on a 2 week wait before Xmas, but she's still going through diagnostics.  During january she's had a ultra sound which show prominent bile ducts, ultrasound showed gastritis, a stool test showed no bacteria and the CT last friday has been reported on and she has a consultant appt on tuesday, (next available appt).  This last 5 days have felt like a 5 year wait.  Mum is being sick at least a couple of times a day, and has lost just over 2 stone.  It's so hard seeing her like this - she is so weak, I wish she was in hospital.  I dont know what I'm really asking... I have strong suspicions as to her diagnosis ... whilst I hope for the best, I fear for the worst.  I just want some answers. Thank you for reading x

  • Hi tigerlily20

    im not really sure how to respond but I just wanted you to know that I've read your post and you and your mum are in my thoughts and prayers.

    i can't give you any answers and I could only put forward a guess which at best would only have a 50% chance of being correct. The waiting game is so difficult but I'm afraid it's inevitable.

    i can only advise that you write a list of questions to take to the appointment. If your mum's condition has changed in past few days, remember you can ask for her to be seen by your gp.

    has harsh as  my comment may seem I mean if in a comforting way... we can only do our best. We can't change what will be, we can only travel the journey with our loved ones, wherever that journey may lead and what ever the journey may bring.

    please let me know how the appointment goes and feel free to message anytime. Strength and peace to you 

  • Thank you for the reply and your kind words.  We saw the consultant and he has diagnosed my wonderful mum with bile duct cancer.  Unfortunately, it's in-operable and due to her heart failure is not fit enough to have chemo, so it's palliative.  I am absolutely devastated. We don't know timescales, but just need to make sure we make every day count. 

  • Exactly my sentiments, Mum was diagnosed the same and it was just under a year till she ended the fight but was happy and content up to 3 weeks before. She lived her last year to the full and your mum must do the same xxx

  • Hi I'm sorry that your mums news was my more positive. Make the most of the time you have together and continue to make special memories.

    My husband complained of rt sided shoulder pain and was diagnosed 2 days later with terminal cholangiocarcinoma. He passed just 6 weeks later. No one can give you a timescale, each person is unique. I just wanted you to know that my husband was able to go out in car for an ice cream 36 hours before he passed and was sat on the settee, watching football and chatting with our son and just drifted calmly. He had very little pain, more like discomfort in his tummy and hiccups. I don't wish to turn this sbouf me but I wanted to share and hood you are able to take comfort in knowing that you and your mum aren't alone in your journey. X

  • I am absolutely devastated to write that my wonderful mum died less than one week following diagnosis.  She was diagnosed with sepsis last weekend with the source of the infection unknown, and died on Tuesday morning.  Her cause of death was ascending chloniditis caused by the cancer.  I am in shock as to the speed of her decline and struggling to come to terms with her no longer being in my life. X

  • Hi Tigerlily

    So, so sorry to hear of your mom's death. There is nothing to say that will help you over this, only time. Try and remember the good times when you were happy together. Sending all best wishes to you and your family xx

  • I am so sorry to hear that your mum has passed and you had so little time together following diagnosis. I know it will be difficult for you to come to terms with the suddenness and the enormity of your loss and in many ways we never really do, we merely learn to live on and in time remember fondly. my thoughts are with you x

  • So sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through losing your mum. When you are ready Macmillan support are helpful with bereavement.. Sending you big hugs  xxx

  • I am so sorry to hear this sending you lots of hugs and strength xxx