I have completed all my sessions of radiotherapy and apart from two days I have now finished chemo. I could not complete the full dose of Chemo because of a skin reaction on my hands.
At the beginning of all this I was convinced I would not experience any side effects. I could not believe it could possibly be so debilitating. This was despite reading everyone’s experiences on here. That is the absolute power of denial. The type of denial that says I will never stop partying and I won’t grow old.
I think I have now managed to complete the jigsaw puzzle of chemoradiation side affects.
When I need to poop I am like Road Runner. I know if I do not get to the toilet in time I’m going to be in trouble. My bum just doesn’t have the strying power it used to have just six months ago before surgery and chemoradiation.
When leave the toilet I waddle like Daffy Duck who has just received a dose of buckshot from Elmer Fudd. All jokes aside I find the pain excruciating despite taking Oramorph, codeine and paracetamol.
My latest side affect is a dose of The Walking Dead. I have no short term memory to boast about. I can’t do anything complex, especially anything involving figures. And, most disconcertingly I have zero energy. I wander around like a Zombie I feel mindless as though I’m not really in the present.
I know this is all temporary. I accept there is no timetable for when I might return to normal. But, being like this is scary because it genuinely is the first time I have felt old. I really hope I can reclaim some of my old, but younger self, sooner rather than later.
