New diagnosis for my Dad

My dad 84 years old, 3 weeks ago was diagnosed with AML he wanted to start chemo since he'd already  Beat cancer 2 times throat and prostate cancer.  he started the chemo ended up getting an infection and had a heart attack the infection was sepsis he was given blood and platelets, was released from the hospital doing better. My sister because she feels that AML is a death sentence there's nothing that can be done decided to put him in hospice, she has DPOA. we are both in medical field. my dad expressed to me he did not want to be let go that he was strong and he was a fighter I'm torn because  I as well as other family members don't feel that he is  ready to let go as well.  I've ask my sister to please  please let him have his mind.  He is being given morphine and ativan. And is on oxygen.  I feel he should be put in Homecare not hospice yet, help him rebound so he can express his wishes.  She has stopped his insulin, and other meds. When he is not under medications (morphine,Ativan)hes  clear thinking is able to eat on his own  walk to the table with his walker etc.  Yes hes struggling, but I know he has more time.  He is now dealing with constipation due to morphine, and zofran.  Making him painful.  This is all So very upsetting.  Any advice, prayers would greatly be appreciated.  Thank you for reading. 

  • Hi  and welcome to this corner of the Community although I am always sorry to see folks joining us. I am Mike and I help out around our various Blood Cancer groups. I don’t have AML but I was diagnosed back in 1999 with a rare, incurable type of NHL Stage 4a so although my Blood Cancer ‘type’ is different I know this journey rather well.

    This is a very difficult situation and in reality it's not all about his AML it's about his quality of life. The treatments used for AML are strong and at 84 I am not that surprised that he developed infections. I was 59 during my main treatments and developed heart problems and yes Sepsis twice....... it's a hard slog.

    Family dynamics are hard to navigate in these challenging times but the ultimate aim should always be what the patient wants. It sounds like your dad is fully aware of what is going on and his wishes should always be at the front of all conversations and decisions.

    I had DPOA (Legal Power of Attorney in Scotland) for my mum but these powers can only be used if the person is 'Mentally Incapacitated" and it does not sound that your dad is at this position.

    Hard as this may be i would say a clear and open family discussion need to be had that does include your dad and his wishes acted on.

    I am a praying person so will pray for you and your family

    Always around to chat at any time.

    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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