Practical issues

Share experiences and advice on practical issues when living with cancer, such as money, work, benefits, travel insurance, transport, food and drink, organising support at home, or getting specialist equipment.

Concerns about pressures on the family

Posted by
Hi, Somethings really worrying my Mum, Val, who lives in Witney, Oxon? Neither one of us are technically minded, Mum less so than me! So I'm posting her concerns for her. Here they are: "My. problem is how to relieve the pressure on my two very supportive daughters. I live alone and since my cancer was diagnosed, they've made sure that one or the other stays with me constantly. This of course worries me. Somehow I want to give them a break from this worry, but how? Do Macmillan have holiday accommodation for active cancer sufferers?" Caroline and I would feel more worried if we were away from Mum, and feel at a total loss as to how to put her mind at rest. Can anyone help? Mandy (and Val)
Posted by

Hi Mandy and Val,

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis Val and it must be a huge comfort to you to have such supportive daughters.

Firstly, whether they are with you or away from you your daughters will worry about you, that is only natural.  Yes, caring for someone with cancer can be extremely tiring but it is also very rewarding too.  I wouldn't want anyone else to look after my husband - I can't take his cancer away but I can make sure he is as comfortable as possible and is never alone in his journey, that is all I can do for him so I intend to do it to the best of my ability. Your daughters want to be there for you just as you would want to be there for either of them if they were in your situation.  Let them look after you. In some strange way it will probably be a comfort to them.

Mandy, it is wonderful what you and your sister want to do for your mum.  You must look after yourselves as well.  That the two of you are sharing the caring must help as it means that you each get a break from the stress of it all knowing your mum is safe with your sister.  I think there are some holiday accomodation for people suffering from cancer.  A quick google brings up the Grove Hotel in Bournemouth. You could also look at that talk about holiday accommodation for cancer patients and list some self catering and hotels etc where care is available.

Val, do you have a macmillan nurse?  I don't know what type of cancer you have or what stage it is but you could talk to your GP about getting one.  They offer great advice and can help you organise care at home etc. if this is something you need.  They also provide support for the carer(s) so would be able to support your daughters too.  

There is also the macmillam support line which you can phone and talk to one of the team (details should be on the right of the screen). And of course there is always this forum.

Sorry, I am jumping about a bit here.  You sound like very close mother and daughters which is lovely and if you have concerns I am sure you can talk things through together and reassure each other.  

Kind regards to you both,