Parents of children with cancer

This group is designed to provide support to parents who are struggling with their child's cancer. This includes adult children who have cancer.

21 year old has testicular cancer which has spread

pollypocket1603
Posted by

My 21 year old son was diagnosed with testicular cancer on 3rd January.  He had surgery on 10th January to remove testicle which was followed by a CT scan the following day.  The results showed the cancer had spread to lymph nodes on his back, liver and lungs.  We had an appointment with a consultant the following morning at the Beatson cancer care hospital and he was admitted on Monday for chemotherapy treatment.   It’s all been so sudden and in a total state of shock.  Been crying on and off but trying to keep strong for him.  He has been handling it really well with just a few moments of anger and tears.  Just can’t bear to watch my child go through the gruelling treatment and wish I could do it from him.  He may be 21 but still my boy and I hurt so much for him. 

Emmy33
Posted by

Hi Pollypocket, 

I’m so sorry to hear about your son, I feel your pain. My son was diagnosed with lymphoma at the age of 21, had chemo and was fine but then relapsed last year at the age of 26. He had chemo all through last year (it cleared in summer but then came straight back in the autumn)and we’re now waiting for a bone marrow transplant. 

The shock each time has just been enormous and I have just fallen to pieces but like you, I’ve had to try and be strong for him. 


I understand exactly what you mean, it doesn’t matter that they’re adults, they’re still our babies. And it’s so unfair at a time that they should be carefree and planning their futures, I have wished 1000 times it was me instead. 


All I can say to you is that my son has dealt with all the treatment amazingly well and their age is a massive plus on their side. The experience is such a rollercoaster of emotions, I have found it best to just focus on one step at a time and not think about the what if’s. If your son is anything like mine, he won’t want any sympathy either, my son regularly tells me my role is to provide him with food.


I’ve found the lymphoma forum on here to be a great source of support and information and you may find that on other forums specific to the type your son has. 


I really wish you and your son all the best. Take care of yourself as well as him and lean on your friends and family. 


Emmy x

pollypocket1603
Posted by

Hi Emmy.  

Thanks for taking time to respond.  Sounds like the last few years have been to tough on you and your son and I hope the bone marrow test goes well


My son , Jack , is pretty much the same and likes me to provide support through food and spending time with him watching movies.  It’s just so hard isn’t it because you spend your life worrying about them and trying to protect them and wth cancer there is nothing you can do to make it better for them.  Just felt total despair when he got diagnosed but he is positive and that will help get him through it .


My dad also has acute myeloid leukaemia and is at home receiving palliative care now so it’s so hard to have both my dad and son with cancer.  By family and friends all rallying round 


I appreciate you taking time to reply and hope all goes well for you both. 


Take care and sending hugs to you 


Pauline 

Xx

pollypocket1603
Posted by

Sorry I meant the transplant goes well and you find a match

Worrying time for you both


Thinking of you 


Pauline

X

Emmy33
Posted by

Hi Pauline, 

Thanks for your good wishes. There’s 2 types of bone marrow transplant, one with a donor and one where they use your own. We think he’s going to have the latter so won’t need a donor. Should find out next week. 

Sorry to hear about your dad as well, you really are going through it. Hopefully your dad can provide some advice and support to your son if he’s been through the treatments and your son may feel it easier to talk to his grandad. 

I totally understand what you mean about how awful it is as a parent that you’ve not been able to protect him. When my son relapsed last year I felt like I’d failed him somehow. And watching him going through the treatment is really tough but my son has been so brave and yours will be too.

What I’ve found is that the things we’ve been most worried about aren’t as bad as you expect.

I’m glad to hear your son is positive, I think that’s really important. My son is too and won’t allow any negative talk. When he first relapsed at the start of last year the doctors told us that treatments had improved hugely over the last 10 years and I’ve always kept that thought in my mind. 

When he had it 5 years ago, we got chatting to a man in the chemo lounge who said there was nothing they could do for him, the treatment was just going to give him a bit longer. 3 years later we bumped into the same man when we went for a check up and he said he was now in the clear. So treatments do move forward all the time. 


All the best, sending you positive thoughts and wishes

Emmy x