Parents of children with cancer

This group is designed to provide support to parents who are struggling with their child's cancer. This includes adult children who have cancer.

My 1 year old daughter has a brain tumour

Lola teb
Posted by

My one year old daughter was diagnosed with a brain tumour 2 days after her first birthday. It has now been 4 weeks and I feel like it is just starting to sink in as she has started chemo and the side effects are starting to show making everything feel very real. Does it ever get easier? The pain is unbearable 

Posted by

I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through. 

Although our situation is very different- my daughter had kidney cancer- she wasn’t much older (17months) when she was diagnosed.....

It does take time to sink in and of course the side effects of chemo will inevitably make it all hit home. Hard. 

Just keep reminding yourself it is the treatment your daughter needs to make her better that is causing the visible effects- which, although is so so tough to see it is a positive thing. 

Allow yourself to cry, be angry, feel lost, numb. Also allow yourself to feel happy when you can. And believe me, as unlikely as it seems to you now you will have ‘normal’ times when you can laugh/ smile together. 

You are on an incredibly tough journey, emotionally and physically. Look after yourself as well as your daughter. She needs you as well as possible to receive your support. There will be times that are so much harder than you can possibly imagine and times that are actually easier to deal with than you had invisaged. You will get through them all one way or another. 

My daughter is now in remission. Life is still very tough and still fraught with anxiety. But I’m so proud to have got through what we have. 

I wish you all the luck in the world. Take care 

Posted by

Hi Lola, 

I’m so sorry to hear about your daughter. My circumstances are different to yours but I just wanted to send you some hugs and what I hope will be words of support. 

My son is a young adult and has lymphoma. So entirely different circumstances to yours, but I do know that being told by a doctor that your beloved child has this awful illness is completely devastating. It feels unbearable sometimes and I have often felt like I cant face the future but as mothers we have no choice because we have to be there for them and try and be strong.

To answer your question does it get any easier, in my personal experience I would say dealing with the present set of circumstances does become easier. 

But on a journey like this things change along the way and it can be a rollercoaster. You come to accept that they need treatment but then the side effects occur and the person you love the most may start to look unwell and that then crushes you again and it’s something new to accept and deal with.

Going forward all I can say to you is try to take each step at a time and focus on the now. Concentrate on getting you and your daughter through the initial treatment.  And however hard it might be try to think positive. My sons doctors told us at the start that treatments had improved dramatically over the last 10 years and I have tried to keep that thought in my head during the toughest times. 

Also, I hope you have found the forum on here for the particular type of illness your daughter has where I hope you will find lots of support from people with a closer understanding of your situation.

Wishing you and your daughter all the best for the future 

Em X