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Terminal Bowel Cancer

Cadman888
Posted by

HI everyone,

Well where do I start, 7 years ago I was diagnosed with bowel cancer, had the Radio and chemo and colostomy bag ( lovely ) but eventually after about a year the bag was removed and I was given the all clear.

Now what nobody told me was that once you've had bowel cancer there is a very high percentage chance that it will present itself again! Yep....it came back, stage 4 terminal oh and also in my spine just for good measure, I don't do things by half lol. The radio and chemo failed to arrest the development of my cancer and it is rampaging through my body as we speak. The pain is off the scale even though I'm on very powerful pain killers so I make these silly little noises about every 10 minutes,small gasps of pain like steam from a pressure cooker. Its okay, I deal with it but different parts of my body seem to be competing to see how much pain they can cause me lol. 

I work for a very well known national company as a CAD Designer and I've got to say they have been very good to me so far. I gave them the  six month sick note which allows for 28 weeks of sick pay but they are giving me company sick pay which is much higher than the statutory rate. This current sick note runs out in early April 2019 but not really sure whats going to happen after that ? I will have to get another sick note and take it from there I suppose.

I am still grappling with the realisation that I am going to die within a given time frame, doc said there was nothing he could do to save me but just manage the pain, said I had about six months to live without chemo and possibly eighteen months if and only if the line chemo works. 

I worked so hard putting everything in place for my retirement ( target age 60 ) and i'm 60 this year, didn't think my life would end like this, thought I would get 15 - 20 years of retirement before I went to become a sunbeam. I wanted more time so that I might see my grandchildren grow and the as yet unborn fourth grandchild due in August 2019, I feel sad that I will miss out on them and them miss out on me. All the grandchildren are very young and at this rate only one of them might be able to remember their old granddad. My children call me most days to see if I'm all right, they are fantastic human beings and I am so proud of them and their achievements.

Anyway, I'm rambling on but just wanted to say if anyone has ever had bowel cancer make sure you turn up for your check up's because they only found my cancer on the very last check up. 

Regards

Ken.

rily
Posted by

Hi Ken and welcome to the community, although I am sure you would rather be elsewhere. I have read your story and the uncertainty of the future must be difficult for you. We have a very supportive group here you may find it helpful to join, Living with incurable cancer . There you will find others in similar circumstances to yourself and who understand. Don't be put off by the group header as it seems a very upbeat group. Click the link to get to the group and start a new discussion there. It may help to copy and paste your above post in the group as an introduction. We also have a Bowel (colon and rectum) group. If you feel up to it, you may like to use your experience to help those who are going through treatment. Best wishes.

Best wishes to All,   rily.  What is a Community Champion ?
Beckym38
Posted by

HI Ken. 

I'm new to this site. My dad has been diagnosed with incurable bowel cancer, to his surprise. I wanted to read other peoples stories of similar diagnoses.

My dad is 80, unlike yourself who you are 60 you said. I can't imagine what you are feeling and going though. Great you have children who are brilliant towards you and keep in regular contact. That must be comforting. 


My dad who i live with, has been diagnosed with incurable bowel cancer a month ago. told me this morning, that he now doesn't want the chemo after telling us before he did want chemo. He doesn't want it now as it won't prolong his life much, and even if it did increase his life by a year, at what cost would it be. To be feeling terrible while having chemo. He said he wants to be comfortable. It was a bombshell to hear. But i understand what he is saying. And what he wants. 


Are you on your own Ken. Have you been able to go on the other more specific topic forums which the lady suggested??

Regards

Becky

Cadman888
Posted by

Hi Becky, 

sorry to hear about your father, it's a rum deal all round but I can understand where he's coming from. The chemotherapy is absolutely horrible and apart from prolonging one's life has no other benefits. 

As sad as it is I think your dad has a point, chemotherapy will only prolong the issue for a year maybe and I can testify that chemotherapy is extremely harsh on the body. The side affects are many and varied and mostly unpleasant.  

At 80 years of age I believe the man has a good idea what constitutes living and it would appear he has made his mind up to see it out to the end without chemotherapy. I know this is probably not what you want to hear, it's hard to deal with your dad dying, obviously you love your dad so just support him the best way you can. 

I lost my wife three years ago but my kids are very supportive and I have a very good network of friends to call on. I haven't been to any links suggested by Lady as I've been so unwell and to be honest even the most mundane task was unappealing .

I wish you well, look after your dad.

Regards 

Ken. 

latchbrook
Posted by

Hi and welcome to the online community

I'm sorry to hear about your dad's incurable bowel cancer and I can understand how upset you must be that he has decided not to have chemotherapy.

Could I suggest that you join the supporting someone with incurable cancer group where you can discuss your worries as well as practical issues. To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'Join this group' on the page that opens. You can then respond to existing posts by clicking on 'Reply' and start your own by selecting 'Start a discussion'.

Sending my best wishes to both you and your dad

x

 "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

What is a Community Champion?

Beckym38
Posted by

HI Ken.

Thank you for replying. Your words were very touching, and helped me understand the effects it can have on having chemo. I just looked it up and it says not everyone who has chemo will get any bad side effects. 


Thing with my dad too is hes had a heart valve replacement several years ago, and it then it still leaked. So with that, they were uncertain whether giving dad chemo would infact give him a heart attack. After weeks of waiting they said he could have it. GP said he needs to fatten himself up. But first day of that, made him ill, sick. I had looked online about what to do if someone has a heart attack, incase he had one at home with taking the chemo. 


But you're right, it's my job to be there for him, in any way that i can. 


No  it wasn't what i wanted to hear, i felt angry soon after, but i knew and understood why he said it.. Like he said, he wants to be comfortable. But i don't think any of the family quite know what's going to happen over the next few months, and how dad will be, and if he will be in alot of pain. 


I feel for you with your pain, even though you are on strong pain killers as you said. 


I'm sorry to hear about your wife dying 3 years ago. Good you have a good network of friends to call on. I would think that's important to know there is someone you know you can talk to when you need to. 

I'm here if you want to chat again. 

Regards

Becky

Beckym38
Posted by

Hi. Thank you for your support and suggestion. Yes i will join the group you suggested, thank you.