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My dad and his Lung Cancer

Memorylane
Posted by

Hi,

My dad who is 70 was diagnosed with stage 4 Lung cancer in January. He has been the hardest working person I have ever know, never ill, never going to the dr’s.  He had all tests and appt’s,scans,X-rays etc... ourselves  and the dr’s at first were amazed at how well my dad looked. Then suddenly in March my dad who has always been 15-18 stone thickset muscular man started to lose weight (rapidly) He got the chance to try the new immunotherapy treatment (keytrada) he had 2 lots of treatment then suffered with sickness and diarroah that bad he was admitted to hospital and treated for dehydration. During this time he had his lung drained. Since this first hospital admittance he has not eaten a  proper meal all he will eat is a small scoop of ice-cream (everything he eats or drinks just comes straight out) 3wks ago we had to fight to get him admitted to hospital with sickness and diarroah again (with severe dehydration) he had a lung drained again and was treated for inflamed gallbladder. I have watched him in a matter of 3-4days lose 4-5kgs. My dad is now bedridden weighs about 6-8stone and says he isn’t in pain he just can not support his own body, just sleeps all the time. My mum and older brother seem to have come to terms with the fact he is terminal. I am in pieces, nothing/nobody seem to be doing anything to help him. He has got to wait until  20th to go and see his ongcologist. I do know he is terminal and should be receiving palliative care but I feel he’s just being left to die. Sorry for going on so much. Are the above, things everyone with lung cancer goes through ? How can I accept what is going to happen and not breakdown every time I think, talk, hear or see my dad ?

Arla
Posted by

Hi memory lane,

im so sorry that you and your family are having such a tough time and to hear about your dad. Your dad should have an appointed Clinical Nurse Specialist (CNS) to support him and your family. They should be able to refer you to the palliative care team and to other support in your area for all of you, you shouldn't have to deal with things on your own. The Macmillan helpline is open again on Monday morning if you call you can ask to speak to a nurse for some advice on what should be happening. 

There is a group for people in similar circumstances on the site at:

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/nearing_the_end/ 

Your dads CNS should be able to put you in touch with local counselling services so that you can talk about what you are going through, we all deal with these things in our own way and even though your mum and brother appear to be ok, they might be unravelling inside. If you have a maggies centre nearby it might help to drop in and speak to someone, I've heard they are really helpful.

lots of love

xxx

Memorylane
Posted by

Hi Arla,

Thank you for your reply, I think the problem is because my parents live 60 miles 

away from myself and my brother it’s hard to arrange anything. He has a district nurse who has 

been in to dress his bedsores. When he was first diagnosed he was asked do you need any help he flatley 

refused any help, then when he went into hospital the second time he was swearing at the nurses (and my mum and brother) so I think my mum just thinks it’s not fair on anyone coming in to see him. I think

my parents have a charity called The Pilgrims near them I don’t know if they are a charity that helps people 

like McMillans ? His GP has told me that to receive any help my parents have to be 

assessed and then apply to Social services even though my mum has been registered disabled since she was 12yrs old ( the old generation find it hard to ask for help)

Thanks again for the information you have given me. I shall see if there is anything I can

do from here.

Xx

Arla
Posted by

The clinical nurse specialists work from the hospital, they will be associated with your dads oncologist or surgeon, if you phone the hospital you should be able to speak to them, mine usually either answers the phone or gives me a call back in a day or two if I leave a message. They seem to be able to get things moving quickly and referred me for lots of different help. 

The helpline will open again on Monday morning too, you can call them on 0808 808 0000.

xxx