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Daughter fighting Leukaemia and I just feel angry all the time, it’s deatroying everything

Clare5684
Posted by

My daughter was diagnosed with Leukaemia in September last year. She’s doing well on treatment but I’m really struggling with life in general. Our whole lives as we knew them are no longer and I’m ok with that for now because she’s getting better, however what I’m not ok with is how my family are treating us. During the first few weeks of diagnosis they cont he’ll enough but yet now I barely see them. 

My mum currently isn’t speaking to me because I spoke some truths, even though we’re currently  in hospital and have been since Wednesday receiving chemo she hasn’t asked how we are or anything. It hurts my family have let me down but especially my mum, it makes me so angry it consumes me. I cry and get angry all the time. Help, I don’t know what to do. 

KTatHome
Posted by

Hello Clare5684, 

Welcome to the online community, I’m sorry to hear about your daughter’s diagnosis, you must have been under considerable strain for a while coping with everything. I feel it isn’t unusual to have a flurry of support at the start and then people forget get on with their own lives especially if people have not come across cancer before they won’t realise how hard things can be. I used to want people to help without having to ask, but sometimes you just have to ask and unfortunately some people feel unable to for whatever reason, while others if asked nicely will only feel to pleased and flattered to be asked to help in my experience but it was me with cancer not a child and my parents had already passed on. 

But expressing how you feel can be a good start to getting help for the pressure you are under and help for your daughter. It can just feel better sometimes talking to someone or writing things down to try and find a way forward. I am hoping that your relationship with your family is easy to build back up again, you said you Spoke some truths and that might mean you had a real go at them for being unsupportive and your Mum might not feel that way and be hurt by that suggestion I don’t know the circumstances but what is important is a way forward and you might well find with talking to others that someone has been through this before. So I’m thinking let’s get you to the best place for support. 

I’m thinking that you could repost in either the Family and friends  group or the Parents of children who have cancer  group to just vent, ask for help or ask questions. I also think this section on Getting support and looking after yourself might be a good read for you. I was thinking write down all your moans, and what jobs need to be done, identify what others could help with and there is a communication plan that looked helpful. When I was at my worst I wanted someone to just come for short walks with me so that I could build up gradually walking further and sometimes help comes from where you would least expect it and yet the closest to you sometimes don’t help as they are stuck in their own anxieties, too close to the situation sometimes. 

I wish you luck going forward, and if I can be of any further help just reply to the post to chat.