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My 89 year old bf has myeloma stage 4.

SJ007
Posted by

Iv been a cleaner/carer/best friend to an amazing lady who in October last year was taken ill & we wasn't sure why. She had back pain which she tolerated for some time before having an X-ray where it was discovered she had 3 fractures in her spine. 4 years ago she had double pneumonia & suspected myeloma but she refused the bone marrow so never got a diagnosis. For months she's been up & down until last week when she got really poorly & had to be admitted to hospital. She the agreed to the bone marrow test which revealed which confirmed what I already knew. She's now in hospital & either so heavily sedated because of the pain that she's totally out of it or she's ankle to talk, eat a little etc but she's in so much pain she has to be sedated again. There is NOTHING wrong with her brain & she begged me to take her home last night. She doesn't want to die in hospital. Is there anything I can do to make this happen? I'm all she has here as her family all live away. I'm willing to do what I can to make that happen for her. I owe her that. we have been each other's support for the last 4 years. Thanks in advance. 

rily
Posted by

Hello SJ007 and welcome to the community although I am sorry to hear about your friend and the reason you find yourself here. Nice to know she has you to look after her. She may be entitled to a Macmillan Nurse to help with her if she goes home. She would need to be referred by the hospital or her GP. You may also find it helpful to call the free and friendly helpline on 0808 808 0000 (Mon-Fri 9-8pm. They will be able to advise what help, practical and financial, your friend may be entitled to. I would also recommend you join the Carers Only  group. There you will get help, advice and support from others looking after loved ones. Best wishes.

SJ007
Posted by

UPDATE!! B was loads more alert today ☺️ I might be able to keep the promise after all. Hopefully find out tmrw ✌

SJ007
Posted by

Thank you Riley. We seen the doctor today & as her mind is fine it really her desicion. I asked him straight today. How wonderful