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Feeling really scared

Roxar
Posted by

Hi everyone I just need some emotional support I am feeling so scared and my mind keeps running away with me and thinking the worst.I had leukemia when I was 23 I was very lucky to survive and go on to have my three beautiful children.I am 45 now and had been having a lot of uti's and a few kidney infections so Dr sent me for ct scan which has showed enlarged lymph nodes in my pelvis and my white blood cell count was 783, i think it should be 4.000 plus.I am due to see haemotologist on Monday but I can't sleep or eat with the worry my Dr mentioned lymphoma but I also have crohns disease so a lot of the symptoms are the same.I would appreciate any advise 

Thehighlander
Posted by

Hi Roxar, welcome to the Macmillan Community but at the same time I am so sorry you find yourself looking for information and support.

I totally get your concerns and just how it is so hard to get the mind in gear. But I also found out that no amount of worrying and stressing made any difference to what my Haematologist says to me during my appointments.

I have a very rare type of Non Hodgkins Lymphoma and can relate to where you are at but it is great that you have a Haematology appointment for Monday so not long now.

I would always recommend that you take an extra pair of ears with you to an appointment as someone sitting with you will pick up more information due to you trying to unpack what the Consultant is saying and just not getting it all.

783 WBC is low but as you say it could be any of a number of reasons. I am a Macmillan volunteer and am not medically trained, but I do understand your turmoil having been on my 18 year NHL journey. 

You may find it useful to talk to someone, you could call the Macmillan help line on 0808 808 00 00 Monday to Friday, 9am-8pm and take some time to unpack where you are at.

Monday is not far away now, please take care and I do hope that your concerns are proved to be wrong.

We are always around at the end of the keyboard.

Roxar
Posted by

Thankyou so much for your reply I know I just have to wait and see, the waiting is the worst thing and when you are a parent it is heartbreaking to think you might not be there for them. I have to try to get my positive head on.You have been dealing with this for a long time so I really appreciate your kind words.

Thehighlander
Posted by

Hi Roxar, its a privilege to be of some help.

I do like your "put on my positive head on' comment..... and its a good attitude to have at this point in time.

Please get back once you have had your appointment.

devonmade
Posted by

Dear Roxar,You sound a strong brave lady.I also just found this site as I was scared,we are all in the same boat here.Just the uti's are enough to deal with without the added problems.It is a strange thing that when you are faced with shock results from Doctors a hidden strength comes from somewhere to get you through.Thinking of you my dear,

Devonmade xx