Hi,
apologies if I am asking questions which have already been asked.
Dad was diagnosed 4 years ago with advanced rectal cancer which was inoperable. The cancer had spread to his lungs & liver albeit at that time only small tumours. He had a round of radio therapy followed by chemotherapy which kept the tumour under control for a few months until they started to show signs of growing & so he undertook another round of radio therapy & this time tablet formed chemo which he had an awful reaction to & we nearly lost him in feb 2019. Since then the tumours have been growing & he is disappearing weight wise in front of our eyes. He had a colostomy operation which he tolerated really well but the rectal tumour causes a lot of discomfort. He went to the consultant last week & they have requested the Macmillan nurses to start to come to see dad, I am unsure if this means the end is near, dad is quite clearly deteriorating & not eating a great deal, we have had 4 precious years that we didn’t think we would have which we have cherished & we have as a family prepared for this time but the reality of the nurses coming in now made me realise I’m not as ready as I thought I was & feeling very selfish for being upset about it when my dad must be going through hell.
My question is - at this late stage in terminal cancer does the attendance of Macmillan nurses usually mean the end of life is near ?
I feel absolutely awful thinking about it but I would like to know if I can so I can plan doing & saying all the things we need to say but are scared to just in case.
Thank you in advance for any advice, I realise it’s not a straight forward answer.
Hi and welcome to the online community
I'm very sorry to read that your dad has been diagnosed with advanced rectal cancer which has spread to his liver and lungs. I know what an incredibly tough time this must be for the whole family.
I can see that you've already had some great replies from other members of the community.
As the community is divided up into groups, I'm going to recommend a couple of for you to consider joining. They are the bowel (colon and rectum) cancer group, where you can ask questions and share experiences with others who have the same diagnosis as your dad, and also the supporting someone with incurable cancer group, which is a safe and supportive place to share your worries as well as talk about practical issues.
To join either or both just click on the links I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the pages that open. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
When you have a minute, it would be really useful if you could pop something about your dad's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
Sending a virtual ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
