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Coping emotionally with COVID-19 restrictions in the face of a terminal prognosis

t-mal
Posted by

Hi,

I've just joined the community so not too sure where I should be going - hopefully this will find somebody out there! I am struggling to cope emotionally in the face of the travel restrictions / shielding as my dad's recently (about 2 weeks ago) been given the news that his chemotheraphy for lymphoma was unsuccessful and that a new growth at the base of his spine is aggressive, progressive & terminal - with a prognosis of around 5 months. He is nearly 79 and lives with my mum (also over 70). We live at one end of the country and they live in the middle - I am not dealing very well with the uncertainty over when I might be able to visit, my brother and I are desperate for our children to be able to spend some more time with our dad before it is too late, and I really really want to be able to give my mum a hug!!! I feel as though a horrifically timed bomb has gone off in our lives and I just can't get my head round the fact that there may come a time when it is just too late and we won't have been able to hug and kiss him again. I know that end of life is terrible in any situation, having gone through it all with my husband's father some years ago (myeloma) but the added level of complication that the pandemic is causing is just about finishing me off. I did tell my dad that he had dreadful timing - he agreed that he always had been an awkward b*&^$r!

Thehighlander
Posted by

Hi  and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so so sorry to hear about your dad's diagnosis - this must have been a big shock to you and the restrictions imposed by the virus makes this even more challenging.

As a 20 year Lymphoma patients in remission I can understand the the journey you all have been on. A terminal blood cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot so can I highlight our very supportive Supporting someone with incurable cancer group as a good place where you will connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey 

Posting in this group will open up your concerns to a wider group of people who know exactly what you are going through at the moment. 

Follow the link I've created, join the group then introduce yourself to the group and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and you can also join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

You may also find our Carers only group a good place to talk with others.

Our various Macmillan Support Line Services on 0808 808 00 00 covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link........ BUT it is rather busy at the moment.

You may want to put some information in your profile as this can help a lot. Click here to see how to add details as this helps everyone to see a little about you and how best to reply to you.

All the very best.

Mike - Thehighlander

It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

Click to see how to add details to your profile

greg777
Posted by

Hi T-mal,

I am really sorry to read about your Dad and the position that you find yourself in as a family, it must be truly horrible.

i just wanted to add to Mike’s reply that the government has said that for those with a terminal prognosis, they may choose not to follow the government guidelines, which is an intensely personal decision, but it I hope this offers an avenue whereby you will be able to see him and share as much time as is absolutely possible, even in these unprecedented times.

All the best

Greg