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Devastated

Misspooh
Posted by
Hi. 
don’t know where to start, how to begin, what to say, what to do. I’m heartbroken. My world is crumbling. 

Saw the oncologist yesterday after pet scan on my mums liver. 
results showed nothing on the liver but told 4 growth/masses in abdomen and some spots on the lungs. 
informed not curable and chemo could only possibly add time. 
When asked time frame was told about 6 months if didn’t have chemo and possibly 16monhs with but no guarantees. 
mum now has to decide if she will have chem. 
when last had chemo after bowel surg ery she didn’t cope well so although different drugs it will be hard. 

I can’t stop crying. Am in a daze, keep staring, feel numb, feel sick, feel devastated. 

don’t know what to say!!!!
Villa82
Posted by

Hello MIsspooh

im so sorry to hear you sad news it must be devasting for you and also for your mum...

my Suster in law was diagnosed shortly after myself , she has a single  cell Lung cancer grade 3, she was back in AugustSeptember last year her was was inoperable and Chemo was the only way to treat it...a give her more time.

about a month ago she was told the chemo had shrunk tumour by a 3rd...and then said radiotherapy could now be used ( where as before not an option)  she has just completed sessions on her brain to limit growth in case it traveled there, and chest area...we all wait and see if this helped further.

my point is the treatmeant for your mum may alter, ....you have to just believe it can be treated the very very best way....

you have my deepest empathy and I wish...cyber space had a button for a virtual hug....

I hope if your mum decides on the chemo that it is kinder to her than her previous experience , once again over time I told they change regularly with less side effects or at least more options available to treat the side effects, and limit further pain and distress...

Sending you both positive thoughts.......

Take care of YOU
D
Lolie
Posted by

You don't mention the specific type of cancer involved and whether it's a secondary cancer or a metastasised bowel cancer.   That would be really helpful in getting people who've had the same type of cancer and treatment to offer information based on their own experiences.

Cancer treatment is constantly evolving and can change dramatically in even a few years.  Quality of life is usually important to older people, but treatment can often change the outlook in unexpected ways, either by producing an unexpectedly positive result or by making someone eligible for trials they wouldn't qualify for without it.

In your mum's situation, I think a second opinion is always warranted.

DLBCL diagnosed December 2019
R-CHOP commenced 16 January 2020
Thehighlander
Posted by

Hi  and a second welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your mums prognosis.

A cancer diagnosis like this can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions on all the family but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot.

Can I first direct you to this link to our very supportive Supporting Someone with Incurable Cancer group as this will be a good place where you can connect with others supporting family through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other. 

Posting in this group will also open up your concerns to a wider audience who know exactly what you are going through at the moment.

To join just click on the link I've created and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens. You can then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

You may also find our Carers Only and Friends and Family groups to be good places where you can connect with others.

This site is organised into various groups so we do have lots of support groups that are Cancer specific  and also ones that are general Cancer experience groups.

You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.

We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.

Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

All the vest best ((hugs))

Mike - Thehighlander

It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

Misspooh
Posted by

Mums cancer is in the bowel and secondary lung and oncologist kept referring to it as the abdomen religion. 

Thehighlander
Posted by

Here are the links to our Bowel (colon and rectum) cancer and Lung, secondary cancer groups.

Click on the links and then choose 'join this group' on the page that opens.

Do then introduce yourself and post questions after selecting 'start a discussion' or join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.

((hugs))

Mike - Thehighlander

It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

Misspooh
Posted by

Thank you