First and foremost I am a friend who’s helping a friend with terminal mesothelioma.
This makes me a full time live in carer now, I walked into this with my eyes open and I’m very happy to enable my friend to remain in there home as long as they would like.
My friends mobility has started to deteriorate daily since Xmas and today a hoist has been ordered and we are having to think and sort having carers in more frequently. This is a big shift emotionally for my friend as until now we have manage well between us and only last week did the carers need to come in the morning to help with washing.
I am making contact with Macmillan on the advice of the community therapy team as they are keen I am aware of what support I can access. I have a good network of friends for emotional support and joint friends that I’m starting to ask to come sit with John on occasions I need to go out. But to come here so I know where I can ask questions, what support there is for carers and to check things financially in regards to my situation, I get carers allowance so I believe this is correct but they said I should ask incase there’s anything else I’m entitled to. Thanks Nat :)
Hi Nat Counting Stars and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your friend.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and many questions but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot but well done in stepping up to the mark and Supporting your friend.
There are a lot of things to think about and organise so THIS would be a good place to have a look.
Can I first direct you to this link to our very supportive Mesothelioma group as this will open up your concerns to a wider audience who know exactly what your friend is going through at the moment.
Just follow the link I have created then hit the ‘Join This Group’ tab just under the main group name, then go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab and set up your very own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group and ask your questions.
You will also find our Carers Only, Friends and Family and Supporting Someone with Incurable Cancer groups to be good places where you can connect with others support family and friends through their cancer journey but more importantly the carers care for each other.
You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the very best.
Mike - Thehighlander
It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela
As a carer you are entitled to a statuary carers assessment. Contact social services and request one from them. Most GP surgery’s have a carer’s section in their reception area so it may be worth having a look there for groups etc. it may also be worth letting your GP know that you are now a carer as caring for someone can have an impact on your own mental/physical health.
best of luck x
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