My mom

FormerMember over 4 years ago

1 reply
58 subscribers
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hi, i’m really new to this so i’m not quite sure how to start. At the end of May my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer and kept it to herself and didn’t tell me or my brother until the end of june. Since then it’s been like living hell for all of us. Many doctors appointment, many random questions about her boobs, many many tears and breakdowns and many hugs. She had a double mastectomy in September and when she came home having stains come out of her it was heartbreaking. Ever since my mom has been the bravest and strongest person i know and only 8 weeks after she was back at work. However with only being 16 even though the worst parts over, emotionally and mentally it’s upsets me still as for my mom the realisation has only just hit her. As being 16 i put my life on hold to look after my mom and put my depression aside to make sure i was always there. I was just wondering for some advice on how to move forward from this for all of us and how to take the next step in all of our lives, thank you in advance x

KTatHome over 4 years ago

Hello elliephant180, I’m sorry to hear about your Mum, and how hard this has been for you, but it sounds like you have been a very brave and strong person yourself during all this. It sounds like when you say you need advice on moving forward that you have perhaps run out of umph. It can be exhausting looking after someone and perhaps trying to keep upbeat during that time, I’m assuming that’s what you meant about putting your depression to one side. So I think your saying that you need a bit of support for you now and perhaps want to get back to how things were before, but I’m thinking things won’t ever be quite the same as pre cancer. I haven’t got the right experience to advise about moving on as I feel I’m still going through this thing, but I can suggest a few groups for you to look at to join and find others who may help.

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/being_a_relative_/discussions

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/carers_only/discussions

and a charity to help children and teenagers who’s parents have cancer is http://www.riprap.org.uk

I’m thinking that this has been tough and that you need to talk things through about what you’ve been through and what you want moving forward. To acknowledge how tough it’s been and how you’ve coped. There are so many emotions that you and your Mum must have been through and your Mum, and those emotions might well come back as she has review appointments.

You may find this link below gives you a starting point of things to think about

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/your-emotions/if-you-are-a-young-carer

I’m going to link in a friend () to this conversation who’s experience may help. The Macmillan support line on 0808 808 0000 which is open 8am to 8pm will I’m sure also be of help supporting you.

Best wishes

Take care KT