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How do Carer’s “look after themselves!”

Daisiesmum
Posted by

My husband has terminal prostrate cancer which has spread, especially to his bones. He endures lots of pain, swallows buckets of meds and is now undergoing radium treatment. He is a amazing but needs lots of help. I am afraid to leave him on his own for very long in case he falls. He doesn’t sleep well at night so neither do I but he sleeps a lot during the day. I am constantly being told to look after myself so that I can look after him but I’m not sure how you do that in our situation. I feel tired, lonely and sad.

KTatHome
Posted by

Hello , I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis and how tired, lonely and sad your feeling right now. I’m hoping I can at least help with the lonely bit by welcoming you to the online community and suggesting that you join one or possibly two of the groups on here so that others who identify with how your feeling and are experiencing similar things can perhaps share thoughts. 

There is the carers only group and the supporting someone with incurable cancer I will put the links in below for you to click on and have a browse, you could then click on join the group and set how often you want to be notified of posts and then read and reply or post your own discussion. Here’s the links.

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/carers_only/discussions

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/nearing_the_end/discussions

I’m a cancer patient myself but my mum cared for my Dad with Parkinson’s for many years, it’s hard isn’t it. I wondered if besides joining the groups above, and I hope hearing how others have coped, wether the link below might have some suggestions especially the one about the carers trust. 

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/your-emotions/looking-after-someone-with-cancer/emotional-support.html

Best wishes

KT 

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charlie1964
Posted by

It is true you have to look after yourself first but it is hard.  Have you been in touch with social services.  If not contact them and ask for a carer assessment, all carers are entitled to a statutory assessment.

They may be able to put you in touch with a carer organisation or groups in your area. I know in my area they have a organisation where people will come and sit with the cared for at times especially in an emergency.  Hope this helps. Take care