Hi all,
New to this and feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment. Within the past week both my parents have been diagnosed with cancer. From what I understand so far both seem treatable but we are at the very early stages of our journey.
i just feel horribly out of my depth. With my dad in particular it’s been a six month journey to get to this point given he has other health complications plus has two strokes earlier in the year so whilst it’s great we now have an answer i now realise this is just the start. I’m hugely worried about the impact of treatment on him (HRT and then radio to come for prostrate cancer with a Gleason score of 8. He has diabetes, COPD and heart problems as well as the strokes earlier this year. I don’t know if I’m over thinking things but so far it hasn’t felt like one person has looked at everything for him as a whole and we’ve been under several consultants.
I feel like if I am not at every appointment with him things gets missed and he also gets very confused about what’s going on at time.
Now with the news about my mum on top I just don’t know where to start. I don’t know how I am supposed to do this. I just want to stop work and be there for them all the time but they both live with me and my husband and I’m the main earner. How do you carry on like everything is okay when’s it’s so far from it? How do you function like a normal human being when frankly the thought of going out and socialising makes you feel sick and work just doesn’t matter to you any more?
Sorry appreciate that sounds totally pathetic compared to other people’s challenges just out of my depth, confused and don’t know where to turn for support or who to trust.
Hi Popsy2019 and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your mum and dad.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress, confusion and questions on the family but from my experience talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot. You are not pathetic, this is as hard for you as for your mum and dad. I always say those looking on can have as hard a journey.
Can I direct you to a few places where you can connect with folks. First our Prostate cancer Forum where you will connect with people who understand the journey your dad is on. You can ask the folks questions about tests, treatments and what to expect during the months ahead.
You don't say what type of cancer your mum has, if you look through this lists Cancer specific you will find the best group for her cancer.
For you we do have these forums where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum and Friends and Family Forum.
Follow the links above and join the groups by hitting the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name and it is worth indicating how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts.
Go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name and set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.
You may find our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Our Online Information and Support Section is a good place to find information covering cancer diagnosis, treatments and pages covering most types of cancers.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the very best and a few ((hugs))
