My Uncle who’s 83 has just been diagnosed with aggressive lymphoma as he is quite frail treatment is highly unlikely and the hospital has told us he has 3-4 months without it.
He has been sent home and is having care visits 3 times a day but his principal carer is my mum who is 78 and not that well herself plus she is the main carer for my dad who’s 85 and has emphysema.
Mum is visiting my uncle once a day to see how he is, check his shopping, tidying up etc but she is finding it difficult to do these visit on her own as she is worried how he is going to be and how she would cope if the worst happened. I live in Somerset and they are in London so I can’t go with her.
So the reason for this post is to find out if there is any support network out there for this type of situation, some form of carer companion who could go with mum a couple of times a week for a half hour visit just to give her some moral support.
Hi LD16 and welcome to the Online Community, although I am sorry to see you finding us and so sorry to hear about your uncle and how your mum is shouldering the load.
I have very limited experience in this area but I would think that talking to your uncles GP and the hospital Community Care Team would be the first point of call. Also ensuring that all the financial that is available is found as this can be used to get support in.
So please check out our various Macmillan Support Line Services to be helpful - call them on 0808 808 00 00 This free service covers Emotional Support, Practical Information. Clinical Information, Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link.
I have lived with Lymphoma for over 20 years and for some it is a very difficult journey indeed. Any cancer diagnosis brings a lot of stress and confusion but talking with people who are on the same journey can help a lot and will reduce the burden and the whirlwind wind that is rushing in your head.
Although I had Lymphoma my journey was rather different but you may like to follow these links to our Carers Forum, Friends and Family Forum and Supporting someone with incurable cancer forums where you will connect with people who understand the journey your uncle and mum is on. You can ask the folks your questions and find out how they all dealt with this issues your mum is facing.
Follow the link above and join the group by hitting the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name. At this point select how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts.
You can either go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name. Set up your own Discussion and introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post. You can also have a look through the various threads by going into the ‘Discussions’ section.
We have lots of support groups that are Cancer specific and also ones that are general Cancer experience groups.
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’. section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Talking to people face to face can help a lot so check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support Groups in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.
When you feel up to it try putting some information in your profile. This really helps others when answering. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. Just click on YOUR username, select 'Edit Profile'. Put as much or as little in your profile and you can amend it at any time - you can see members profiles by hitting our forum names.
All the very best.
Mike - Thehighlander
It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela
Hi can I also extend my warm welcome to the online Community and I am so sorry to read about your mum and at 78 she should not be trying to do so much on her own as this will impact greatly on her own health.
Do you know if she has had a
From her local authority, they are obliged to carry out one and assess the help your mum needs and also your uncle and your dad
I have found the following for you
This lists all the help available and if you type in London in the region box this will bring up support available in your mum's local area.
I can see that you are worried about our mums health and would urge to get her to have her carers assessment and also register with her GP that she is a carer as soon as possible.
Please let me know you get on and if I can be of any more help in your mums local area.
Help is available from many sources from organisations such as AgeUk, Macmillans and RVS and I am willing to help you find the best help I can for your mum.
AgeUK Befriending Service
Please keep in touch I am the Bodach if you want to give me a shout out in the future.
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