My wife had been diagnosed with Cancer When she was 29. My wife is now 50 and has just had her very first Mammogram which they found an area of concern.
Now I informed my work that I needed to go to the appointment and I gave them a weeks notice, they refused me saying they could not cover me. Another Contractor spoke to them And I managed to get half a day off with pay ( My Holiday). I even had my work clothes on to return to work once Mammogram etc was over. Unfortunately we did not receive good news the Doctor said the Mammogram and Biopsy, it showed a 7mm Small lump which they came across that it would return possibly come back as Cancer.
Now I phoned a friend to tell my Company who works there to say I would not be able to return to work. My Wife was devestated and was crying I could not leave her no way.
I went back to work the next day and sent an email telling my Managers what happened, and I would need to go to Hospital the following Weds for results from the Biopsy they refused.
After more people talking to my employees they decided to give me a day off.
But then I have been told now that because I didn’t go back to work they have called my day a blowout so I will not be paid.
I feel so bloody angry any comment or advice would be greatly appreciated
Thanks so much
Hi Colesey and welcome to the Online Community, although I am so sorry to see the circumstance that brought you here and so sorry to hear about your wife.
A cancer diagnosis can bring a lot of stress on a family and an unsupportive employer just increases the stress.
Please have a look through our various Macmillan Support Line Services then call them on 0808 808 00 00 to be very helpful covering Emotional Support and Practical Information. Clinical Information and Financial Support and Work Guidance mostly open 8.00 to 8.00 but check the link........ give them a phone as these folks know what all the rules are and what can or can not be done.
We do have lots of support groups that are Cancer specific and also ones that are general Cancer experience groups.
Follow the links to any of the groups and join the group. To do this hit the ‘Join the Group’ tab just under the main group name. At this point go to the right on the group home page and select how you want to receive email notifications when someone answers your posts. If in the future you don’t want to receive notifications just switch off the email notifications tab.
The best way to get support is to go to the 'Start a Discussion' tab just under the main group name. Set up your own Discussion and Introduce yourself to the group - you could just copy an paste what you have in this first post.
We also have these forums where you can connect with others supporting family and friends through their cancer journey: Carers Forum and Friends and Family Forum
We also have our ‘Ask an Expert’section where you can post questions to our mostly Volunteer Experts but please allow 2 working days to get a reply.
Our Online Information and Support Section where you will find some great pages covering the cancer diagnosis, treatment and information pages covering most types of cancers.
All the very best to your wife and also hope that you can find a way forward with your employer.
Mike - Thehighlander
It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela
I'd like to offer my welcome to the online community and express my sorrow about hearing about your wife and your experience with your employer.
Can I suggest that you now look upon yourself as your wife's carer and you probably don't think that title applies to you but in the broadest terms it does as you will looking after your wife. Being a carer gives you some employment protection in Law under the Equality Act 2010.
I just want to add some additional information to the excellent response given by MikeThehighlander and point you in the direction of the following books/leaflets that you might find of interest when you start speaking to the Ask an Information and Support Adviser in the forum, the publications are
Working with cancer
Your rights at work
Armed with some of the information in the books you may be able to sit down with your employer and come to some negotiated changes to your working hours to the benefit of both yourself and your company.
It's a very complex situation to be in and needs a little bit of come and go from each side and the books explain some of the options that could be put into the melting pot and stirred around.
The doors to all the online community groups that Mike suggested are always open and are very safe place to come along to have good old rant and rave, let off steam or just for a chat but we can also give you a lot of help, support and advice when you need it.
And my first little bit of advice to you is to make sure you look after yourself whilst caring for your wife and take any opportunity you can to find a little bit of ME time and by doing so you'll be healthier in mind and body to juggle everything that you have to do.
Please keep in touch through the various groups and lets us know how your wife and yourself are getting on.
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