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Supporting partner secondary BC with bone Mets

callmebruce
Posted by

Hi

Just looking for guidance. We recently had the diagnosis of secondary BC in the spine. It’s been a few weeks now and we have settled into a holding pattern. Still waiting for the biopsy results so getting more apprehensive as time goes by.

My wife is currently ER+ based on primary cancer which was diagnosed and treated just short of 5 years ago. Currently having endocrine therapy combined with bioposphinates.

I am operating as her proxy on the forum as it keeps her stronger at the moment to contain her exposure to ‘stories’.

we've looked into the Care Oncology Clinic and have read Jane Mc Lellands book ‘How to starve cancer’. That is definitely a topic of interest and would be interested to speak with people who understand the metabolic pathways of cancer, maybe even used the information for adjunctive treatments.

Beyond that I think it is just good for me reach out and speak with people going through the same thing. We have two young children 6,9 (that is there age, not their names). They are currently only aware of the symptoms my wife is experiencing and I believe that is all they need to know until we know more. So speaking with children would also be of interest.

so... where do I go from here.

Thanks

Chris

Carolyn28
Posted by

hi Chris

welcome to the online community, sorry you've had to come and find us

just under 5 years is a kick in the teeth for a start, we all have an ambition to get to that milestone, even if it's actually no guarantee that we can put this damned experience behind us. 

The breast group is busier than the other groups, so I'd have a look around there.

I admire people who try alternative therapies but only if it's alongside and complimentary to the usual treatments. 

Carolyn

xx

 real life success stories to remind you that people do survive breast cancer

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/breast-cancer/f/38/t/115457

Dr Peter Harvey

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

 

callmebruce
Posted by

Thanks. ‘Therapies’ do polarise people. But I think to avoid conventional treatment is a folly.

‘How To Starve cancer’ is not quite as woo as it sounds. It covers many prescription drugs and manageable lifestyle / diet changes.

It’s not specific to BC reading it was empowering for my wife. Feeling there is something YOU can do as opposed to having things done to you kind of puts you back in control.

I will probably edit and repost this in the BC forum. Thanks 

Carolyn28
Posted by

hi Chris

there's a lot to be said for any actions that boost our mood, our confidence or our positivity 

feeling that you are a little bit more in control is a bonus, if for that reason alone it's had a good effect then crack on

I struggled with shampoo after I finished chemo and had to switch but it was pretty obvious, my scalp was burning, hence I acted. 

Some things aren't quite as clear cut.

Carolyn

xx

 real life success stories to remind you that people do survive breast cancer

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_types/breast-cancer/f/38/t/115457

Dr Peter Harvey

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

 

daloni
Posted by

Hi

I am so sorry to hear about your wife. And very glad your kids aren’t called 6 and 9. 

I think talking to children is one of the hardest things and it’s worth taking some time to get this right. I hope this information from the main site will help

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/information-and-support/coping/talking-about-cancer/talking-to-children

All the best 

callmebruce
Posted by

Thanks Daloni.

we did the breast cancer books with my eldest last time around. I feel there is a gap in helping young (ish) families deal with the weight of this situation.

I mean there must be some sort of family counselling available. I think I get more benefit from speaking to a psychologist specialising children than anything else.

daloni
Posted by

Hi

Yes I know what you mean. I have teenagers and I am a single mum. The people who help me most are the nurses at the hospice. I got in touch with them early - when the cancer came back I was told it was incurable. It felt like a big step but the hospice is all about helping us to live as normally as we can.

callmebruce
Posted by

Now I feel I should read you profile. It’s good to know there is support somewhere. I kind of don’t want to need it but I guess we will find it when the time is right.