Coping with it.

My parent has been diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer with a poor prognosis. I was told last night.

I am sad and angry and am struggling a bit. We are very close. Even at the best of times I am a very emotional person and struggle to hide emotions.

I have 2 beautiful children, I I know they will at some stage see dad upset and i don't know how to deal with that. My eldest child suffers from depression . Kids are 11 and 17.

I personally have little experience of managing grief, but in the past have found the prospect of losing someone close harder to cope with than the actual finality of grief when someone goes...... I would spare my children that torment but with red eyes and tearful moments, how can I hide it from them ? I suspect that not knowing may do them more damage than knowing . I also suspect, me trying to keep emotions locked away for any reason is not healthy !

I am sure over time it will become easier to hide ..... but right now I am dreading collecting small child from school ! 

I am also aware my pains and concerns are a drop in the ocean compared to what my parents are going through ..... I need to be there for them too !! I need to "man up!"

Any help / guidance through the fog appreciated.