New to the Community

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New to the site

Posted by

My amazing husband has been diagnosed with advanced, level 4 renal cancer after snapping his femur in Thailand. Bone strengthening injections, radio therapy and targeted treatment with vitrines. He has been told his leg is not healing due to tumours in the bone so now cannot put any weight on this leg and is wheelchair bound. We run a pub with letting rooms and serving food in North Cornwall so I have to now run the business without his help whilst maintaining his moral and the usual caring jobs. We have known there was no cure for him but thought the votrient was basically chemotherapy in tablet form, research on this site showed us wrong we were. Palliative care is all that is left. Life sucks at the moment. How does everyone else cope with this?

Posted by

Hi  and a very warm welcome to the online community although I'm very sorry that you've had to find us.

It sounds like an incredibly difficult time for both you and your husband. Your husband not only has to come to terms with a cancer diagnosis but also that to be mobile he needs to use a wheelchair, while you have to adapt to caring for him as well as running a business single-handedly. No wonder you feel that "life sucks" at the moment.

You are right that Votrient is not a form of chemotherapy but a targeted therapy drug. If you click on this link you will see that it works by blocking signals to the cancer cells causing them to die. I can't see that it's mentioned as only for palliative care and wondered if you'd been told that your husband was only receiving palliative care.

I see that you've joined the supporting someone with incurable cancer group before posting here. I'm sure if you post this introduction there you will get support from others who understand the emotions you're going through. To get back there click on the link I've created.

There are a couple of other groups that you might benefit from joining as well, the liver cancer and secondary bone cancer groups. There you can ask questions about treatment and also share the experiences of others who have the same type of cancer as your husband. If you'd like to join them clicking on the links I've created will take you there.

When you have a minute could you pop something about your husband's journey so far into your profile as it really helps others when answering or looking for someone with a similar diagnosis. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Edit Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.

Sending supportive (((hugs))) to you both

 "Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"

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Posted by

Hello kld63, I am so so sorry to hear of what is happening to you and your amazing husband. You must be under a great deal of stress trying to care and run your business. Are you receiving palliative care services at this point ? As someone with a incurable form of cancer  I am very focussed on my quality of life and keeping things as normal as possible giving the circumstances, if possible I try to leave the house most days even if it's just for a short time to feel the sun and wind on my face, every day can contain good moments usually via simple pleasures, acceptance of the situation is not the same as giving up, it's just placing a higher value on the quality of life. How are you feeling about how things are being handled by your medical team?

best wishes