Hello,
My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic melanoma in May. He was told it had spread very quickly and things were not good. Since then he has been on BRAF and is doing a lot better. Having said that, we have heard that the treatment will not continue forever - and usually it is 1-2 years but depends on the efficacy. He doesn't currently have side effects.
What's been made clear is this isn't curable, but is treatable.
I am feeling a huge mix of normal day to day happiness that he is doing well, and a real stomach churning sense of worry at other times - like should I be making the most of every minute, which I have been doing, but it's quite exhausting. I had a good chat with a Macmillan cancer nurse earlier.
Are there any books about how to navigate this or advice - all the books I have seen on Amazon are about cures, and beating it etc - whereas I am looking for some advice on living in the uncertainty, I want a kind of road map and plan.
Thanks so much
Hi GreenTrees1124a9 and a very warm welcome to the online community which I hope you'll find is both an informative and supportive place to be.
I’m Anne, one of the Community Champions here on the Online Community, and I was diagnosed with melanoma 9 years ago. Fortunately, mine hasn't spread yet so I don't have any direct experience to share with you.
The online community is divided into different support groups so I'm going to recommend that you join us over in the melanoma group as you'll then connect directly with others who are stage 4 melanoma patients.
To join, just click on the link I've created and, once you've joined, you can start a new post in the same way as you did here and join in with existing conversations by clicking on 'reply'.
It would be great if you could put something about your dad's diagnosis and treatment into your profile as it really helps others when replying to you and also when looking for someone on a similar pathway. It also means that you don't have to keep repeating yourself. To do this click on your username and then select 'Profile'. You can amend it at any time and if you're not sure what to write you can take a look at mine by clicking on my username.
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
My name is Steph and I’m part of the team who look after the Online Community here at Macmillan. May I wish you another warm welcome to the site, I hope you will find it to be a safe place of comfort and support.
I was sorry to read that your dad was diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic melanoma in May. It's normal to feel all sorts of emotions when you're coping with cancer in the family. I hope you find it helpful to be able to share in the Community and get support from people who have been through this themselves.
In terms of books to read, Cancer Research UK have a list of suggested publications about cancer.
Although you've asked for book recommendations, we think you're most likely to find the best up to date and relevant information and support directly from charities like ourselves.
On the Community, you can connect with thousands of people with cancer and their loved ones. In addition to the melanoma forum kindly suggested by latchbrook you might also want to join our dedicated spaces for people supporting a loved one with cancer:
Macmillan also produce written information here to help support you when your loved one has cancer. Some of this information is available to order in booklet format if you prefer.
Please do have a read through and let us know if you need any further support.
If you’d like to talk anything through with someone at Macmillan, I’d encourage you to contact the Support Line for ongoing support. Even if you just want to chat with someone who is there to listen, do give us a call. Our Support Line teams are available 7 days a week, 8am-8pm on freephone 0808 808 00 00, email or live webchat.
I hope you find the support you’re looking for. Please do let us know if you have any questions or need further support with anything at all. I hope the Community helps to show you that you don’t have to go through this alone.
