Two months ago my husband found out he has colon cancer and then found out it had spread to his liver. No symptoms and found out due to a colonoscopy for a research project he'd signed up to.
We've a young child, aged 7 and each week from finding out diagnosis the news seemed to just be getting worse.
He now has a start date for chemo this coming week, to see how he responds but the prognosis is not good, and so we are "preparing for the worst and hoping for the best". This is palliative.
I'm in bits for him, me and mostly my daughter. I'm navigating the reality of his limited life, not overwhelming my young daughter with worry but also wanting to ensure she knows what is going on, so she doesn't feel confused. My mum died of cancer the same age my daughter is now, so alongside this I'm finding it's bringing alot of painful memories up for me.
I'm trying to be strong, hopeful. Realistic, supportive, a wife, mother, all the while considering practicalities.
Is there anyone at a similar stage with their partner's diagnosis or any further support that you know of to help young children and families at this stage?
Thanks
Hi Charlie4141 and welcome to the Macmillan Community but so sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis.
A cancer diagnosis like this in the family can be such a challenging and stressful time but getting support from others who are dealing with the ‘exact same' support challenges can help you a lot.
I have a completely different incurable cancer and my family situation is rather different so let’s see if I can direct you to some areas of the community where you can get help and support.
The Community is actually divided into dedicated Support Groups (Discussion Rooms) and when it comes to the practical and emotional challenges of supporting your husband and indeed yourself you may benefit from joining and posting in our…. L..
and our
Supporting someone with incurable cancer
……. support groups where you will connect with a wide range of members navigating the exact same support challenges.
To connect with a group click on the “Bold Italic Links” I have created above …… then once the group page opens click in the [ Black - Click to Join - Banner ] that appears at the bottom of the page and this will then confirm that you have joined the group.
When you are ready……. you can introduce yourself by putting up your very own post by clicking [ + Create new post] or [ + ] in the top right of the group page.
You can copy and paste the text from this post into your new post.
It is an emotional time supporting family so you might find this Macmillan information your feelings when someone has cancer helpful as well as this link getting help with your emotions.
You may find some of these Macmillan resources helpful on understanding childrens' reactions and also talking to children when an adult has cancer. You can also download, or order a paper copy, of this booklet.
You may find it helpful to call the Macmillan Support Line open 8am-8pm (timings may differ across services) 7 days a week on 0808 808 00 00. This service provides cancer information, practical information, emotional support, benefits/financial guidance or just a listening ear.
Talking to people face to face can be very helpful so do check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area, do also check for a local Maggie's Centre as these folks are amazing and support all the family.
Please do get back to me if you need further help navigating the community.
