Supporting someone with incurable cancer

For carers, friends and families of people with a terminal diagnosis to discuss their emotions about the prospect of losing their loved ones, as well as practical issues about palliative care and end of life.

Working and caring for someone

TonyS1
Posted by

Hi MissQuirky

That oesophagus cancer is a b****d my hubby was perfectly well and working just had a sore throat then all of a sudden he's terminally ill and palliative care right from the start. He has 2 tumours and has fought very hard and outlived his oncologist life span I suspect (he would never really say how long as rightly so he said its all just statistics) Hubby had a scan in December but will get results at next appointment in the next couple of weeks but suspect it has spread he has terrible problems with his stomach and his voice has more or less reduced to a croak, but hes still clinging on. He gets great joy when our daughter comes home from Uni but most of the time sits sadly in his chair watching his favourite films.

Even though I'm supposed to be working 24 hours a week from this week, in reality, I've been in 14 and working from home tomorrow, but in a way its made him get out of the chair and get a drink and a sandwich which he doesn't when I'm home because I do everything and the less he does the less he can do :( Im trying to get a wheelchair so I can take him out for some fresh air. I know the time will come soon when I won't be able to leave him again but the thought of watching him deteriorate is scary.

I am so very sorry for your loss and send you big hugs xx

Carol

TonyS1
Posted by

Hi JSBach

Thank you for your kind wishes xx I understand what you mean about working from home I do that when needed but its as I choose rather than all the time and I do enjoy feeling like things are 'normal' and can talk about work instead of pain/end of lifecare/hospital appointments etc when I'm in the office.

Having decided in effect to prematurely end my career by partially retiring it does take the pressure off and leaves me thinking about potential future opportunities maybe volunteering in my future spare time, and I now find my self with a very healthy pension pot sitting in the bank and like you say will have no one to spend it with, we had earmarked to fund fun in the sun with it xx

Wishing you and Mark all the very very best xxxx

Carol