AREN'T I SUPPOSE TO BE HAPPY NOW

Finished my chemo for breast cancer september 2019 hair is growing back finally got eyelashes and eyebrows again back at work only part time but its a start got the most supportive family and friends 2 fantastic kids and the most amazing husband should surely be on top of the world but i just feel so miserable and tired allllllllll the time i'm napping daily i know it sounds so ungrateful because i am well and i made it when there are others out their that werent so lucky, i'm just so exhausted with the whole thing i think everyone thinks thats it shes had her chemo shes "normal" again now but i really don't feel normal don't like keep harping on i'm even sick of me,so you try not to talk about it which results in bottling everything up. Just keep waiting for that feeling of euphoria and brand new lease of life that you see everyone get on the tv.

  • I finished my chemotherapy at the end of September 2019 too!! But then I ended up in hospital with suspected sepsis then I had my radiotherapy that finished in November. I’m not back at work yet but when I just read your email it felt like I could have written the exact same post about myself apart from the 2 fantastic kids!! 
    im going for my review with the consultant on Monday and I honestly feel like asking when does everything feel back to normal again.. I’ve started to wonder if I will ever feel like the person I was before all this cancer thing happened. My joints creak like an old woman it takes me a long time to get going and I’m always miserable I never seem to enjoy myself or it’s really short term. But then I feel ungrateful. I too have had amazing support but I just can’t seem to fill a void.

    Whyxx
  • I totally get this. I finished treatment Christmas Eve and should have been happy but I cried sore on the day. Still feel unwell and yes treatment over and we should be happy. But I know I’m not. Back to work and so so tired everyday and sore blah blah. Again treatment over so everyone sort off steps away as in their heads it’s finished but in mine I feel like it’s just started weird or what. 
    I hope you feel better soon beautiful bride but I guess we all feel the same so normal but unnormal to people that don’t get it

    Goodie 
    always smile makes people wonder what your up to 
  • ......before cancer and cancer treatment came along and interrupted our lives we were 'meteorically' like a diamond, yes with some imperfections but we were all something beautiful.

    But post cancer and cancer treatments this diamond has been damaged, parts have been chipped off, the shine has gone.

    When a diamond gets damaged it can't be put back as it was before..... but it can be re-cut back into a beautiful jewel again.

    This transformation requires time and conviction to move on with what life we have been left with and build on this foundation into something better, more wise and can see life through a different lens ((hugs))

    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

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  • I like your tip.. always smile, people will wonder what you’re up to Slight smile I haven’t been smiling much lately but your comment made me smile thank you Pray tone1 for taking the time to respond it means a lot.

    Whyxx
  • Thankyou for the reply i'm really sorry you had a tough time with recovery hope you are physically on the mend now i'm so glad i'm not the only one that feels this way i said the other day to someone it's like a fog that wont lift and you just keep floating from one day to the next is this how you feel xxx

    family is everything
  • You do not walk to the top of the mountain after what you have been through,but you do shuffle and ever so gradually move forward until one day will arrive when you realise you are making progress.What you are feeling now has been shared by those of us who have made it to the top,and we look forward to the day when you join us,in the meantime be kind to yourself

    Grunt1fen
  • so excited to reach the top xx

    family is everything
  • IM FEELING so same and just think it’s me , everyone keeps telling me to move forward now  , which is what I’m doing , but unless you been here it’s hard to describe just how you feel , and I’m constantly saying alls good when in fact I feel like my life will never be the same ever again , hopefully in time I will get to the top of the mountain  , but seems a long way off at min , I’m smiling and trying to get back to normality but feels such a long way off at timesxx

  • Hi  - everyone,

    This is a very good read from Dr. Peter Harvey about post treatment angst...

    Just click the coloured text link.

    after the treatment finishes-then what.pdf

    It helped us get our heads around what the heck just happened hopefully it will help you too.

    Don't miss today's sunshine worrying about tomorrows rain, G n' J

  • I feel exactly the same. I said to others ‘it’s fine’ so many times that I felt guilty when I didn’t feel ecstatic. I was positive during diagnosis and treatment for breast cancer, I didn’t have time to stop and think about what was happening. Now I have fallen apart and are overly emotional. I started counselling on Friday and hope that this will help x