Feeling strongly like something terminal is wrong with me

I have been feeling aweful for months. It's been 5 years since diagnosis and 3 since treatment ended for breast cancer. I still have a large seroma that feels like I am constantly being squeezed and no feeling front and back of mastectomy site.I suffer  all the menopausal symptoms even though I am on hrt and have bloated out. I have embarrassing toilet issues and lower back ache like my whole waist is being torn off! I work full time as a primary teacher and love my job. The school is lovely and caring.  However, I feel like my health is failing! I feel like I am on my way out. I've had tests and am waiting on a biopsy after a colonoscopy. I Have asked for a smear test but they said I have to wait till 3 years. I had one 2 years ago. I have all the symptoms of cervical cancer!..I hope that's not the issue!!!I also have osteoporosis in my back. Pains in all joints. I'm feeling quite tearful at the moment and sitting in front of a fan with a shocking cold..feeling sorry for myself.

  • Hi notaquitter,

    So sorry nobody's answered this sooner, especially as u were feeling so miserable in the middle of the night 

    The what ifs are always worse then, aren't they?

    Have u contacted your specialist nurse to tell her how you're feeling?

    You definitely need to talk all this through with someone.

    You might get more response if u repost this in the Breast cancer group, as it may strike a chord with other  ppl there 

    Do let us know the results of your colonoscopy 

    .Meanwhile,remember you're " notaquitter"

    Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
  • HI Thanks for your reply. 

    Typing into the forum helped to get me through the night...I was really down!. I'm still waiting for results but am feeling more positive. 

    It hits me how alone you can be when you are I'll and you have to just pick yourself up and keep going. Thankfully I can also just read posts and that helps a lot.



  • Hi  

    It can be really tough when you are feeling low especially through the night. 

    The forum can be a good support system in these moments. 

    The side effects of treatment are extremely hard to deal with.

    I recently reached out to my local Maggie's and this was one of the best things I have done. You may have one in your local area.

    Please mssage me anytime you feel low

  • Feeling alone can really suck.  I'm glad the chat board helps, it's nice to know others are walking the same path.

    Minnesota, USA

    B Cell Lymphoma
    ALM Leukemia
  • How on earth are you managing to work? You need to seek help from your GP, your manager and your specialists. Keep asking!

  • Hi there have you got through your cancer just wanted to talk really I’m in my first year 

  • Hi

    Welcome to the forum. It's sad we all find ourselves here but it can be a great support system. 

    I noticed you haven't yet filled in your profile so I'm unsure of what your circumstances are. It would be helpful if you feel you are able to do this. Having a look at some profiles may help you with this.

    I am currently cancer free, although, would not yet describe myself as being through cancer. I'm not sure I will ever feel that way about it.

    Feel free to message me anytime. 

  • As always I would highlight the importance of talking with others who have been on a cancer journey. The Community is great but the eye to eye contact can push post treatment recovery just that further along the road.

    Check to see if you have any Local Macmillan Support in your area or a Maggie’s Centre as these folks are amazing.

    Up in the rural Highlands we have folks do a round trip of 4 hours to come to Inverness to our Maggie's Support Groups and find the time spent to be such a benefit.

    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Click to see how to add details to your profile

  • Hi. I haven't posted for a while and was on the lung cancer site. I just wanted to say that since I had a Lobectomy last year I have become a hermit partly due to the fact that my hospital left me for 2 or more year's with a tumour in my right lung which had shown up on an Xray but they didn't do anything about it. I so agree with you Mike to go and speak to somebody at Maggie's or phone them whether you are at the beginning of your cancer treatment or are in remission and would say to anybody that they are the most  wonderful people who are so understanding. I have multiple health problems and although I push myself I am in constant pain but then thinking of the positive,  if I hadn't had pneumonia last year the tumour would not have been found....again! I have lost faith in certain departments of our hospital but my Thoracic Consultant is wonderful. I still get so scared that the cancer is back especially when I get a coughing bout. I didn't ever cough before the Lobectomy! The Maggie's Nurse was also amazing and I am hoping to go back soon as I have lovely friend's who will take me.

    Thank you for 'listening 'Mike and I wish you and everybody else all the very best and send hugs to all.


    Danni 88
  • ((hugs)) back to you Danni....... together we can get over and through this.

    Mike - Thehighlander

    It always seems impossible until its done - Nelson Mandela

    Click to see how to add details to your profile