Life after cancer

This group is for cancer survivors and people who have finished treatment. It is a space to discuss things like the physical and emotional after effects of cancer, returning to work, or trying to move on with your life.

Moving On, but I don't know what to!

JoJoJ56
Posted by

Hi,

So I'm 2 1/2 years in to treatment for leukaemia, I'm due to finish in November. 

I've read the brilliant Harvey article that some of you have posted. My issue is I'm not sure what I want to do next!

I'm a Mum of kids aged 9 and 13, a wife, a daughter, and I sell handmade lampshades on a very very small scale. But my cancer experience has left me so turned off by the world in general I don't know what to do! 

Most of my friends just want to drink prosecco to have a good time, I can't drink and frankly I've gone right off it, so I'm destined to be the sober one which is rarely that much fun. I'm about the only one who doesn't work, I'm scared to go in to an office or school because my immunity is still challenged. 

I just don't like the world we live in. I'm completely turned off by mobile phones, social media (although I do use it to promote charities), the need to respond to everything yesterday, the need for materialistic stuff, needing a new outfit all the time, the harm we are all doing to our planet, a society where everyone has to be spoon fed, that organisations are so scared of litigation that they have ridiculous policies and procedures to protect themselves etc etc When you've faced death none of this matters.

But I have a family with jobs that are in London, and the kids are settled in school, and I don't want to be far away from the hospital either so this is the world in which I will live, for now.

Can anyone suggest some resources that I could use to help me work out to do next please, unfortunately the Where Now course isn't an option due to the time of day and location.

Thanks for 'listening'

rily
Posted by

Hi . I know that feeling well. After My treatment finished several years ago, I slumped in to the doldrums. I had  taken early retirement and sat around all day with a couldn't be bothered attitude. I'm not sure if you are familiar with the Spanish word "Manana". It literally means tomorrow, but the way the Spanish use it is to mean "I'll do it tomorrow, or put it off", so nothing gets done, and so my attitude to everything was "Manana". I wanted to do things, but the hardest part was to motivate myself to do anything, and of course, like you, I didn't know what I wanted to do. Treatment drains your body of energy and your mind becomes lazy as well. With time, we begin to recover and gain new strength

One day, I started picking off some loose wallpaper in the kitchen. The next minute I had sledgehammer in my hands, and ripped out the whole kitchen. I fitted a whole new kitchen from scratch, learning new skills along the way via YouTube. This took several weeks and was a great way of getting a life back. I am not suggesting you do anything as drastic, but my advice is to do something new. Learn new skills and keep your mind active. The hard part is finding out what. You may try the link at the top of the page, In your Area. There may be something there to interest you, and hopefully others will be along with suggestions. Best wishes.

Best wishes to All,   rily.  What is a Community Champion ?

buttercup01
Posted by

Hi, your profile really resonated with me, as I always say I'm living with cancer, not battling/ fighting it.

I'm an avid reader n letter writer so that's how I spend much of my time. (Will tell u more in a private message if u accept me as a friend.)

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
buttercup01
Posted by

The posts in answer to Squiddles may help u?

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
JoJoJ56
Posted by

Thanks for your advice Rily, you don't do things be halves do you?! I quite like my kitchen so I'll leave the sledgehammer in the shed and have a ponder about other things to do.

Will try the your area link too!

Jo 

JoJoJ56
Posted by

Hi Riley

Thought you'd like to know I signed up for an adult education course from September - Drawing and Printmaking for beginners. I've never thought I can draw, my art teacher at school certainly didn't seem to think so, so have always been curious to have a go. I'm also interested in learning lino printing so I'm hoping the two will work together well.

Thanks for inspiring me to try something new!

Jo x

buttercup01
Posted by

Well done Jo!

Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
rily
Posted by

Hi Jo. Really good to know you have found a new interest, and you will probably meet new friends as well. I really hope it goes well for you. Best wishes.

Best wishes to All,   rily.  What is a Community Champion ?