Little introduction

Hi and welcome, I know it doesn't seem like it but I have found that time makes a difference. At first it was all I could think about but you can't cry or worry constantly forever. In the words of Leonard Cohen  ‘I’ve also studied deeply in the philosophies and religions, but cheerfulness kept breaking through".I don't think that it is easy but I just keep trying to make the most of every day and the little things. I still have bad days especially when it is bad news or the treatment makes me feel rough but that makes the good days more precious.

I don't want to be nauseatingly positive but I see people worse off than me and I do count my blessings and think how lucky I have been. Of course I don't want to die yet, I can see what pain my loved ones go through and I know it is going to get worse for us all but we don't get any choice in this, and this is my new reality, so I will try to make the most of it.

Do put your thoughts out here, we all go through bad phases and moods swing wildly, especially at the beginning. Everyone deals with it in their own way.. Just keep trying to deal with it in the best way you can.

Nicky

Hi Sparkz

Your username is the name of one of my favourite groups although Ron and Russell spelt it with an s at the end. If you haven't heard of them, they were going strong in the late 70s 

Welcome to the group, Sparkz but I have to say I'd prefer to have met you elsewhere. However we're here so let's make it a happy place 

I have gone through just about all the same emotions and on top of that, I had to contend with a spinal problem that eventually put me in a wheelchair. It was only when I found this site that things started to improve. I could meet similarly minded people that were going through the same emotions, same problems as I was. 

Also, I learned to live with my cancer and although I'm not working anymore (a main part of that is because of my spinal issues), I'm trying to get on with life and I have been very active in my garden this summer. More than in the last 3 years put together. I feel alive again with great spirit. So Sparkz I'd advise you to consider finding the oompf to follow a hobby and try to stop feeling so low. 

Take care and stay safe

Tvman

sparkx ive had exactly the same feelings. I feel less well now than before diagnosis. In some respects when treatments stop and monitoring begins brings it's own worries, the scaniety, it's a price we all pay and struggle to accept.

Feel free to vent, express yourself, i find that talking helps

Hi there welcome to our gang everyone listens to you on here good or bad so don't think you are alone you are not you will get loads of support and advice on here keep fighting on 

Hi, sparkx and welcome.

As Nicky said,  it will get better. Your feelings now are normal, so don't feel guilty. If you can't talk honestly about how you feel to your family, come here. You will find that people understand and empathize,  and may offer some good advice. 

You'll also find humour. We're quite entertaining, at times. If you find yourself unable to sleep at night, have a look at the AWAKE thread in the breast cancer group. There's usually somebody there to talk to.

Hi D! SPARKZ  A warm welcome to the group but as Tvman said, I'd rather have met you elsewhere. However here we are.

What you described when you said about appointments, scans, waiting for results etc etc We've all been there. I call it the cancer roller coaster because it starts off at full speed and you don't know when or if it is going to slow down. That's the scary bit! With time as Nicky Nosher has said it does make a difference. After the initial shock and all the appointments etc your team finally give you a plan of action! I see from your profile you have or are about to start a Target Drug. Thats great news as they wouldn't prescribe it unless they thought it had a chance of working. (These drugs are very expensive). I was on a Trial for a Target Drug before it was approved. I was diagnosed stage4 Malignant Melanoma and given 5-7 months. I was on the drug for over 3 years, my diagnosis was in 2013 and I'm still here, well passed my sell by date as lots of others are in this group.

This is why they no longer say terminal but incurable. Meaning incurable but treatable so I hope this lifts your spirits! It is not easy but it is doable! It took me a very long time to let go of the past and the life I used to have, which is totally different to now. However I am still here to tell the tale and am grateful for every single day I have to spend with my family. Please join the discussions and let us know how you feel as we can empathise with you and maybe help if we can. Dont be a stranger!  Take care.

Hi Sparkz

I'm sorry to welcome you to the club that no sane person would ever want to join but we're all here to make the best of it...

I'm not sure if this will help at all but it is how I have decided to approach whatever is left of my life and it is a simple mantra;

"Hope for the best but plan for the worst" & of course the hold fave, "carpe diem"

ALL of the members here are at each others disposal to answer questions and deal with worries that newbies and old hands alike share - this is THE place to gain inside info from a seemingly inexhaustible plethora of people who have already gone through the cancer mill. You will find many a kind shoulder to lean on...

Sometimes it's just a place for a good old rant. so if you need to - just let it out!!!!

Stay Strong

SiT

Hi. I've lived with pulmonary fibrosis and emphysema for 5 years. Was diagnosed with lung cancer in April. Incurable. I am angry that I've been sidelined into palliative care and forgotten. How can you be so accepting of this thing inside you nibbling and chewing you to death?

Hello Sparkx

I am so sorry that you find yourself here. This forum is a safe space where you can say those things that you don't want to upset others with. You may be in shock at the moment, it's understandable that you feel so lost. I still think that it's like a bad dream sometimes.

I hope that you can find some comfort/peace/laughter here. Do you have family and friends that you can talk to honestly? Support can sometimes come from people you don't expect it to. 

Take care for now, xx

Hi Mordred

Is this your first foray into the group of Incurables, sometimes known as the incorrigibles? If it is, welcome to the group that no one wants to join. I'm Tvman, I've a blood cancer called MDS and if you read my profile you'll find out more. 

How can we be accepting of cancer? Well it gets easier the longer you're here. Really it does. There's nothing we can do, we can't change our diet, run marathons, whatever we do it's still going to be with us. 

You'll not be forgotten, your team will be doing their best for you, you may get the chance of a trial drug even. There are many here that have been around for years past their sell by date, as we call it. Never give up hope. Please. By the sound of things with the illnesses you have, you'll have had things tough for a while. As my good friend Annette anndanv says, learn to live with cancer and enjoy each and every day that you have. 

Take care Mordred and stay safe

Tvman