Shopping

Hi loch, I’ve been in loch down too since March 21st, I’ve only been out for a blood test and a scan, and it will be a while until I brave any shopping. Last Friday it seemed so long since I had driven the car that I couldn’t remember where the volume control for the radio was on the steering wheel, in hind sight I was remembering the controls on a car I haven’t had for 3 years. I felt such an idiot, it’s a good job the cars an automatic or I’d never have got there! It’s funny what a bit of stress does. 

I remember when I was first diagnosed with metastatic melanoma that when the sun came out it was as if I was in a Dracula film and had to cross the street into shade in case I should turn to dust !  I have had a panic type reaction before at being out but that was work related. I think it’s just going to take a bit of time to assess how comfortable you feel out. I know when I went for my scan it was something that I had to do and I felt I knew what to expect. It feels a bit strange when people get closer than you’d like. I bet all the other people were more relaxed as it wasn’t their first time out and also perhaps they haven’t got the same health issues and worry about the virus. 

My brother suffers from post traumatic stress disorder and only gets as far as the carpark, his wife goes into do the shopping. I wouldn’t dream to tell him or you that your being a woose, it’s just a little bit more of a challenge for you that’s all, and one I haven’t done myself yet.

take care and be safe

Hi KT and thanks for the great reply. Since being told I only had a few weeks to live 3 years ago I had said my goodbyes to family and friends and had to endure watching my grandkids faces as I told them that granda had a new job to go to  in the sky fixing all the stars to make them bright again and still being here 3 years later and still being asked when the job starts is as you can imagine a pretty difficult  question to answer with a straight face.

I know everyone's cancer journey has something new every day we wake up but this was a new experience  for me and I just did not know how to handle it. Just like any other parent and grandparent we want to see them all grow up and have the old timers in there life as long as possible and maybe I'm doing more negative  than positive  thinking at this difficult  time. 

   You and yours stay safe 

               Loch 

Hi loch, I love that explanation to grandkids . I suppose our bodies our programmed for fight or flight aren’t they when we are faced with a challenge and depending on the circumstances either are right. Retreat and regroup for the next time or steady ones self where you are and do a few deep breathing exercises, like they do in mindfulness if you’ve ever tried that. Remind yourself of the here and now that things are ok, perhaps a check list of positive things, mask, gloves, path to door, the right distance, regular breathing rhythm, perhaps a loved one near by, or feeling that it’s ok to make the choice to stay or walk on. I think that’s the sort of think that went through my mind at my last hospital visit, no loved one with me and no gloves, but hand sanitiser was there, and a resolve that I wanted to feel the achievement of doing it on my own. It’s the only recent comparison I have as I haven’t been into a shop as I’m in the shielded group and I’ve been able to get an online slots every 10 days. 

My daughter lives 200 odd miles away and has had a 3 week temporary job in a care home covering an admin job for someone in self isolation, a few patients and one member of staff had passed away. I admire her tremendously for doing that but my first reaction when she told me was to slow down and remind myself it was her choice, I asked her how she felt about doing that and she walked me through her check list, of mask, distance, not touching face, sanitiser or hand wash after surfaces, the choice to feel useful and help, and that it was just for a short time. She has a new job starting Monday working from home for the first few weeks, and she has had a negative CV19 test before leaving last Friday. 

I see there is a documentary about Tesco tonight on the tv, I have set it to record and will decide later if I want to watch it.

Take care

Hi @loch 

Well that sounds like a shopping trip from hell! My first question is Why put yourself through that? But that is unsympathetic and unhelpful. Perhaps a kinder question is will you now let someone else take the strain? 

I have to say I’m not given to panic attacks. I jumped at the opportunity not to shop with both hands. At first, I drove my younger daughter once a week to the early, priorItu patient shop. She shopped while I waited in the car. We managed fine with the odd item supplied by neighbours. Then my big girl got home from uni with her car, so that was easier. Since we’ve got regular online shopping slots things have become even easier. Truly, my fridge overfloweth. 

I think your experience raises a bigger question about how quite a lot of people who’ve been shielding are going to react as the lock down eases. I bet you won’t be the only one to have panic attacks. I’m not clear about what the advice will be after the shielding period ends. Go back to normal? Carey on shielding? I think we should be told. 

It’s been difficult to follow shielding advice fully at my house especially as my older daughter volunteers in a school supporting vulnerable kids.  She needs it for her sanity. Now that things are easing in terms of meeting outside, it’s gotten even harder. My kids want to meet their mates. I’m not strong enough to say no. That’s led me to take a more relaxed approach and I’ve had a few socially distanced coffees in the garden with neighbours and met a friend or two for a socially distanced walk. It’s felt a good introduction back to life - but am I taking too many risks? 

I hope you can get to the bottom of why you reacted so strongly and what you can do to prevent it happening again 

Hi Daloni, all off what you said really hit the nail on the head, we don't know what's  in front of us and I don't  think the government knows right now either. I have since chatted to my best buddy who always has great input and a brilliant listener and he came up with his theory as to why I was so upright  and this may well be the case for others. He said that I put all the negative things that family , friends and neighbours had been telling me about why I should not go on this shopping trip and that had planted the seed in my mind that I was a cert to get infected and he was 100% right as the dozen cans of cider missing from my fridge tells me, my own bravado as usual talking me down the wrong road.so for the next few weeks at least I will settle my itchy feet and do as you do and spectate from the comfort off my car

             You and yours stay safe Loch

Hi Loch,

I guess many people will feel exactly like you especially the first time they go shopping after what has been happening. People who go every week have just got used to things like that in their stride.

We are lucky enough to get our groceries delivered,we also have a greengrocer who delivers & a butcher. Our butcher brings me milk every week on his way home from work,& sometimes calls me when he has popped into M&S to ask if we need anything. In fact at Easter he even brought me some flowers,& two choc animals for us both. He is about 35 so many years younger than myself. We really appreciate what these people do.

I did have a problem with getting my prescription collected from the pharmacy,but after ringing the council  I was given the local Mayor's tel.no. & he arranged for a volunteer to collect & deliver on the same day,which was a relief.

The only social distancing we have done was on VE day as there was a street party. Everyone kept there distance,a lot of people had a barbeque etc.along with wine & at 3pm there was a toast,so really quite enjoyable. 

I have had many hospital appointments in the past couple of months,which I must confess I was concerned about,but all was ok. Last week I went for a biopsy & had to stay on a ward for 4hours afterwards, Eventually when I left I got into the lift & I was the only one in there,however it went down a couple of floors & four people got in which I was not happy about as we were quite close.

This week when I went to see the Oncologist,I had my temperature taken & was handed a small sachet with a wipe in. Chairs were arranged two metres apart,but as there were very few people there it was not so bad. Incidentally I have never used a mask or gloves, but was given one when I had my first biopsy a month ago. Last week for the biopsy I was not given a mask,so either they were low on stock or have just done away with the idea

I hope that you are all enjoying this lovely weather as much as is possible.xx.

Hi georgette, seems you yourself has had a few scarey moments with what should be the simplest of things, reading  all the replies I have had is showing me that I'm not alone with what happened on my shopping trip and that a wee bit of panic sneaks up within us all. We do have a great circle of people working for us and even at this stage I have no need to venture out other than to take my big buddy Bru for his walk (Newfoundland dog) it was just my bravado over ruling my brain to just try and do something normal or as normal as can be done. So I've taken all the replies on board and will sit this virus out in my safe wee house until I get told otherwise .

               You and yours stay safe Loch 

Hiya loch

I wonder if the isolation of shielding plus the constant bad news plus the stress of wondering what to expect when shopping just became too much for you to handle? I was once very agoraphobic, so when told to stay in for three months, I knew it was going to be difficult. 

If you are desperate to get out, maybe have 10 mins in the street? A walk around the block? 

X

Hi 

I heard on the news this evening that the guidance on shielding has been relaxed in England. We are now allowed out to exercise and can meet with one other person if we live alone. Still no shopping, mind you 

xx

Hi Daloni. Relaxing the rules is going to be a massive  boost  for all concerned and it's going to be the new norm for a long time. While walking the dog this morning I walked past Tesco and it was business  as usual, no Q and no door attendants  it just looked normal. Once  Scotland relaxes the rule I will again venture to get some shopping done and hopefully  this time I can settle into the routine  the store has in place.

You and yours stay safe Loch