Oh no!

Hi everyone

Just wanted to let you know what happened to me earlier today.

It's a usual Tuesday morning, my wife and son leave for work about 8.15am, and just me and the dog left. It was a horrible morning, wind howling and  rain falling incessantly. No point getting up and freezing with no heating on, I'll be going to the MacMillan exercise class about 12. I'll stay in bed.

About 11.00am the doorbell rang and I made my way slowly up the hall turned left and there's a Yodel van and the driver standing with a large box. Now I'm wearing pyjamas and a pair of socks. So I open the inside door into the porch, squeeze my way into the porch, keeping the dog in the hall and closed the door behind me, opened the front door and signed the delivery guy's pad, thanked him, closed the front door and turned around to open the inside door.

It's locked! It's locked! Am I sure? Tried it again and yes, it's definitely locked! OMG. Ok, what now? I have no keys hidden anywhere. Right! Think, think! My wife and son both work in Comber, about 8 miles away. My mother in law lives over the hill from me about ½ mile away, and my brother in law, Peter also over the hill, just, but Peter, he's at work in Belfast. I need to ring my wife to get her to come home and let me in which is why I'm going to my mother in law's, aged 95, to use her phone. 

Well, it's still raining and quite breezy and I have no choice but to try to make it to her house, in my pyjamas and socks. Remember, I'm a wheelchair user, however I can walk a little but then the pain, in shovelfuls, kicks in. I had to rest against trees, hang on to gates and branches. Not one car passed me, although I'm not sure a driver would have stopped for a rain soaked, bent over man, his face contorted with pain. I wouldn't. All the time I was thinking, "neutropenic, neutrophils, neutropenia, death of cold, death FROM cold". I was freezing and starting to get a little numb.

I had just gone over the crest of the hill and my brother in law came round the side of his house to the roadside. I shouted "Peter, Peter" and he stopped in his tracks, turned around and a look of disbelief came over his face. He told me later that when he saw me walking towards him, water dripping off my face, wearing just pyjamas and socks which were dripping wet, well, you can guess the rest. In hope he asked "Locked out?" and I could only nod!

He brought me into the house, gave me clean dry socks and drove me to Comber, picked up my son's keys and drove me home. I even had time to go to the leisure centre, I missed the exercise class but I was just in time for the Christmas dinner, yay! I tell you what, I had the most interesting topic to talk about.

Hope you enjoyed that


  • I enjoyed the story.

    glad you were found and got back home ok 

  • OMG, you make light of it, but that walk must have been a nightmare - the pain, the cold and the worry. Time to invest in a key safe, I think.

    But yes, after the event, it makes a great story. I'm glad you were in time for Christmas dinner.

  • Oh Tvman, at least by the time you got lunch, you had already done your exercise and did deserve to eat! I'm sure your dog wondered where you had gone too! All's well that ends well, as they say! Take Care 

  • No I did not enjoy your story, except the bit where you made it to the Christmas lunch! It sounds an absolutely awful experience. Get a key safe in your porch then this will never happen again. Did you catch your death of cold? 


  • Dear tvman, although at the time I’m sure it wasn’t a barrel of laughs, in the retelling of the saga I have to admit it sounded like something out of some mothers do have em. Given the fact you were under orders from me to keep warm and take care of yourself, we will have to consider this incident a major fail ! When I was a kid we always had a spare key buried in the garden for such an event as funds didn’t stretch to a key safe. The question now is are you safe to be left alone in the house or do we have to keep you under constant surveillance L.O.L 

  • I literally stopped breathing as I was reading this....all I could think was neutropenia, pneumonia, and you know the rest.

    What a horrendous experience, how are you today? I hope you don't suffer too many ill effects but am afraid there's bound to be some, please let us know.

    A key safe in the porch sounds like a good idea, I'm going to do the same.

    So glad you made it to your Christmas dinner and hope it was extra special. Big hugs xx

  • Hi Jane and all

    I have taken on board the idea of a key safe in-between the two front doors, I was thinking about that on my way over the hill but that doesn't take into account should I get locked out of the front door and I don't like to put a key safe outside the front door, we're quite remote and if we're not in, that's a security risk.

    We were broken into once before and I was at home! I had finished work and got home about 10am, breakfast then into bed. Some time later the front door was rapped and I thought it was the postman and I didn't answer, then a large bang as some low life burst in through the patio doors, that got me up to see what the noise was, I came out of the bedroom in time to see some 17 yr old in the hall, he saw me and scarpered. Too fast for me unfortunately.

    I'm going to hide a key to the back door somewhere in the garden, somewhere very safe because even if the key is in the back door in the utility room side, the key will still open the door from the outside. 

    I thought of many things on my journey over the hill, one of which was that I've been told to keep warm and dry! So far I've had no ill effects, I'm a hardy critter but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone else Slight smile

    Tvman xx

  • Hi ,

    This does sound like the sort of thing that would happen to my family and certainly the sort of thing that once we saw that you had recovered from it, we would start taking the mickey out of you about.  A story like this would be wheeled out at every opportunity..  I hope that you are feeling OK today and not aching too much after your long cold walk.

    I saw a programme a while ago where someone needed to get into a place where the key was in a keysafe.  They got the keysafe off the wall ok but it took them a good half an hour trying various ways to get in before it took them ten to 15 minutes with a sledge hammer to break into it.  It might be worth getting one even if you don't screw it onto the wall but put it in a plastic bag and bury it or put it in an old pain tin in the shed.

    Perhaps you should get dressed before the post comes today, just in case?

    All the best,

    Gragon x

  • Hi Gragon

    First of all, I agree with , your great news has come at the right time of the festive season should you like to eat, drink and be merry! I shall certainly be raising a glass to you on Christmas day.

    I'm sure my family will not let me forget my foray into the crazy world of locking oneself out. It has already started with my sister in law who has called me a prat, true she had put lol after it but I know her son and daughter will be joining in soon. If my late brother had still been around, he'd have had a field day! I won't fall short of taking the mickey of myself either.

    I'm fine today, I had a little bit of a sniffle last night that put the wind up my wife although in truth I was winding her up! Lol. My son's at home today so he will be the chief answerer of the door and in future I will not be closing the door behind me. 

    Take care mate


  • Dear tvman

    hope you are now safe and warm and laughing about your escapades 

    i have done this ,but we are not in a remote area ,i had to go to a neighbour and phone my husband at work to send keys home in a taxi 

    the rich tapestry of life !!!!!!

    a key safe well hidden is order of the day ,or teach your dog to open the door for you !!!!!

    posityive thoughts



  • Hi Janet

    Lol. My dog isn't the brightest dog in the world, but I did feel sorry for him, with his sad eyes looking at me through the glass, which I considered breaking for a split second. I was worried though in case he got glass in his eyes so I decided to go for a walk instead!

    Tvman xx

  • Oh no what a disaster!!! I’m so glad it had a happy ending (Xmas dinner) and am glad you are not feeling after effects today.

    i don’t think you need a key safe as I bet a million dollars you will never make that mistake again!

    im away to bury a key in my back garden xxx

  • Hi

    You can get a key safe quite cheaply. You don’t actually have to fix it to anything - you can hide the safe with the key in it. I hide the key safe behind the boots in the porch. Any burglar would have to be very determined to break into it and it feels safer than simply hiding a key. 


  • I shall look into the prices of key safes, £25.sounds.s bit high. That was my wife that looked and she wasn't in favour of the key safe, so perhaps I'll check, you know the saying, If you want something done......lol

    Tvman xx

  • The cheapest one at Screwfix is under £15.

    Gragon x

  • Oh tvman

    I dont know if I should cry 4 uSleepySleepySleepy

    God forgive me

    Or laugh my head off RoflRofl

    I'm glad your brother in law saved your day n you made it to have Christmas dinner

    Kym xx

  • Hi

    I am laughing at myself, my family are laughing with me, so please join us and laugh at the situation I was in. I can't remember who it was but they are correct in saying that I don't need to buy a key safe because you can bet your last pound that I will NEVER let that happen again. So I repeat myself, have a good laugh, we all are. 

    I'm very happy though that you were ready to cry for me, thank you.

    Tvman xx

  • Thank you , that's affordable, but I will NEVER be doing that again lol

    Tvman Smirk

  • Hi

    You rascal

    Tvman xx Joy