Living with incurable cancer - incurable patients only

This group is specifically for people with an incurable or terminal diagnosis. Whether you need to talk about dying, or about making the most of your life, you can discuss your feelings openly here.

YOU NEVER KNOW THE MINUTE!!!

anndanv
Posted by

Hi Gang, Well the day before we went to Salou for a fortnight, I had my six month check after my spinal decompression op. They took an X-ray and the surgeon admired his metal handiwork which is now holding my spine together. He was very pleased and told me there would be no need to make a further appointment but I could phone his secretary if I started having problems. So off we went on holiday!  

When we got back, there was a letter from him asking me to contact his secretary to make an appointment as he now had the written report for the X-ray. I phoned and was told I'd need a CT scan which they had already booked for me as well as a further aptm for his clinic to discuss the results. The latter was last Monday 28th! On the X-ray & scan there was a shadow just at the bottom of my right shoulder blade. The consultant examined my back and felt a lump. He explained that he was going to take a biopsy to be sent away but after the scan, he said it was too deep to do it with a local anaesthetic so suggested surgery to remove it with a GA then they will send it for biopsy.

Next he said he had arranged to do the pre-op assessment there and then, which came as a bit of a shock as you can imagine!   However, that's it done and now it's just a case of waiting for a date to get it removed! I phoned his secretary once we got home, to tell here we had booked to go to Manchester from 5-10 Dec inclusive to see the Christmas Markets etc but I also said I didn't expect to get word as quick as that but was just letting her know anyway! We all know urgent can mean 6-12 weeks with the NHS, so I won't hold my breath!

So there you have it! I've had a few other lumps etc removed in the six years since stage4 dx but this is the first they can't do at the clinic with a local anaesthetic! Up until Monday we hadn't said anything about it to our son and daughter and to see "that look" again on their faces was heartbreaking! I'm trying to be upbeat about it, smiling and saying it could be nothing of course! Any prayers, I would be grateful for, they certainly can't hurt! This will be my eleventh surgery but you never get used to it! Take Care everyone!

Love Annette x

kirky68
Posted by

Wow Annette 11 surgeries. Hope this latest development is not causing you too much heartache. I am a firm believer in the Serenity Prayer (........accept the things I cannot change etc....) though appreciate it's soooo much easier said than done. 

You are in my thoughts tonight, with love P xx

Johnty
Posted by

Dear Annette, Ive just been reading your profile, six years 11 surgeries ! And lots of side effects. I admire your fortitude and despite the seriousness of my own situation still feel lucky not to have endured too much invasive treatment. I am a very difficult hospital inpatient as I learnt after my arm broke recently and I had to have a pin put in, so if I’m at home I’m a happy bunny ! I hope the timing works out and you get your trip to sunny Manchester for the Christmas markets as planned. 
sending you all my very best wishes 

jane

Tinalay
Posted by

Oh Annette, I'm so sorry you're having to face this again with so little breathing space after your last surgery.

I hope you don't have too long to wait and it does turn out to be nothing but it's going to be a difficult time for you  and your family. Thinking of you and sending positive vibes and a massive hug xx

Tinalay 
tvman
Posted by

Hi Annette

Another case of "liking" your post when I'm feeling as far away from liking it as I can get. 

Of course it's something you don't want to think about and as you say, you've had many lumps removed over the last six years and you're still smiling . Please let your son and daughter know that one of your best friends is here in support and big enough that they are, they still need a virtual arm around their shoulders.

It took me almost 2 hours to write this, I kept falling asleep, and I was determined to finish it because I wanted to let you know I am here for you Annette.

Have a nice day Annette, and try not to worry.

Tvman xx

My philosophy is simple, love life and family.
Roobarb
Posted by

Oh Annette what rotten news, I am so sorry to hear it.  I suppose it is good that they caught it and also that they are so proactive about the treatment, not all people have that, so we can cling to that bit of positivity. And hopefully they whip it out and you have a very short time in the hospital......although that does underestimate all the planning and worrying and upheaval it causes....

im thinking of you and sending a big hug xxxx

anndanv
Posted by

Hi Jane, (Johnty) Well you must have had a lot of spare time to read my profile! When you add bits & peaces over the years, you forget just how long it is getting! I see you had a pin put in your arm also. Mine was from my shoulder to my elbow on my right side. Where was yours? I don't like being in hospital either. To be honest no one likes being in but sometimes we just have no choice! I'm not so worried about missing the Christmas market in Manchester, but I'd hate to miss our grandchildren's nativity plays which are on the 11th & 12th December, as they are more important to me! Thanks for your good wishes!

Love Annette x

anndanv
Posted by

Hi Heather (Roobarb) it's definitely not what I wanted to hear but I am very fortunate I do have caring consultants looking out for me and trying to get things done sooner rather than later! When I read how long some people wait for scans, the results etc it makes me cringe!

P (Kirky68) yes I know the prayer you are referring to and do usually try to focus on the positive rather than the negative but as you say, it's not always as easy as it sounds!

Tinalay, Yes it is quite soon after my spinal surgery but at least It won't be a very long surgery this time, so the recovery should be quick, assuming I don't come out of hospital with e-coli like last time!

Thank you all for your good wishes and for taking the time to reply!

Love Annette x

anndanv
Posted by

Hi Tvman, Thanks for your reply, I do appreciate you (& everyone) taking the time to do it! Both my son and daughter are taller than I am which wouldn't be hard as I'm 5ft & half an inch. My son is 6ft and gives very good hugs, as does my daughter, you are never too old for a hug, as you have just found out with your daughter! Yes I sometimes press the 'like' button thinking I wish there was another button I could press instead! You just please concentrate on your daughter and grandson atm! How long are you there for?

To be honest, I'm a believer in "what's for you, won't go by you" so tend not to worry but sometimes things creep into your head before you realise it! I just wish it was done and dusted now!

I really don't know what I'd do without the support here as there are things I don't even want to worry my husband about, so thanks again everyone, from the bottom of my heart and I'm gathering all the best wishes, virtual hugs etc and keeping them until I need them!

Love Annette x

Maybug
Posted by

So sorry to hear that you are going through this again. I agree that the most important thing is seeing the Nativity plays. Do your grandchildren have speaking parts? Not that it matters. You’ll be the proudest grandma if they are just standing there with tea towels on their heads. 

anndanv
Posted by

Thanks Maybug, I did ask them what they were doing in the nativity play but was told it was a surprise, so I'd have to wait and see! They are Sooo excited! Thanks for your message!

Love Annette x

Gragon
Posted by

Hi Annette,

Well that wasn't what I was expecting to hear from you, what a shock.  Having said that it is good that your consultant or whoever's spotted this is on the ball and has done something about it.  One of the many problems with cancer is that it rarely leads to better news if you ignore it.

I hope that they can get your surgery organised soon but still allow you to enjoy the Christmas markets.  Sending love to you.

Gragon xx

Johnty
Posted by

Dear Annette, my bone break was also shoulder to elbow but left side, the surgery was a big success and it has healed up very nicely. Initially they didn’t want to operate but I insisted they do it. I hope you get to see your grandchildren’s nativity plays as planned, I’ve got fond memories of my infant school days flooding back to me and my homemade shepherds costume made out of a old sheet !!
best wishes 

Jane 

AP7
Posted by

Ugh. Talk about giving with one hand and taking with the other! At least you had the good news before your holiday, and this new issue wasn't on your mind all the time.

Your consultant sounds very proactive, which is good, though I can appreciate your shock at the immediate pre-op assessment. I hope the rest of the process is as fast and as smooth. 

Good luck.

daloni
Posted by

Hi Annette

Well at least you had a holiday before being hit over the head with this particular kipper. Eleven surgeries, eh? I think you’re right to say that we never get used to it but I think we do get used to the routine. We know what questions they’ll ask, we know what sequence things will take, we know what the recovery room looks like. I think that takes some of the fear out. 

I really hope you’ll be able to make it to the market and the nativity plays. Knowing you, though, you’ll have something planned that you don’t want to miss whenever it’s scheduled for. That’s just how you roll, Annette. 

with lots of love and great big hugs xxxx